Immoral vegetables and fruits banned!

After the government ban on several spicy dangdut songs, including Julia Perez’s classic "Jupe Paling Suka 69" ("Jupe Likes 69 Best"), the government now plans a new law banning trade in "immoral vegetables and fruits".

The new law is one of the strictest in the world and will come into force on 1 April 2012. Anyone found guilty of purchasing an erotic vegetable or fruit faces six years in prison and a fine equivalent to US$109,000.

The Minster for Morality and Truth said that the "negative effects" of these products was putting the nation in great danger and that something had to be done before everyone was having “free sex” just like the debauched Americans do.

“We first became suspicious when we noticed that nearly all purchases of vegetables and fruits were being made by housewives,” said the Minister.

women eating bananas
According to the latest data from the IMF, Indonesia now ranks third in the world amongst countries with the highest production of erotic vegetables and fruits, suggesting that the problem had now reached epidemic proportions.

“This is very worrying”, said the Minster. “Not only are we a market for erotic vegetables and fruits, but also a major producer”.

testicular rambutans for sale in Jakarta
Street trade in highly addictive testicular rambutans is increasing given the huge profits to be made.

To show that the war on erotic vegetables and fruits was being won, the police on Wednesday destroyed Rp 398 billion worth of erotic vegetables and fruits confiscated during raids over the past week.

The incineration of 5,675 bunches of phallic bananas, 1,934.36 kilos of stiff green cucumbers and 110,564 hairy rambutans took place near the Center for Science and Technology Research in Serpong, Tangerang. > END

NB: this post is purely satirical - for the time being at least!


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