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Bali was very nice, but then it always is. I managed to avoid the southern part of the island and only spent one day in Kuta before flying back to Jakarta. But as tacky as Kuta might be – the place has the cultural appeal of a Carrefour hypermart – the tourists seem to be returning in droves; many of whom were seemingly making the most of the “buy one bottle get one free” promotion on the Beer Bintang. And this at 10.00 in the morning! What was Bali like Bruce? God knows mate. All a haze to me – I can’t remember a bloody thing!

Drugs were definitely out – for the first time ever no one touted me the herb – but henna tattoos were in. Even middle-aged Korean mothers were getting them done and showing them off to their little kids. Must be something in the fresh sea air I guess.

I didn’t get a chance to visit Schapelle Corby in Kerobokan prison, but then again there’s always next year. Or in her case another 17 years. Poor lass. She doesn’t deserve to be in there that long. But at least she’ll soon have someone new to talk to – the junkie brother of a famous British chef is set to join her on sentencing.

Coming back it was Adam Air. Actually I wasn’t too worried knowing the odds of the aircraft not crashing were well stacked in my favor. But then at check-in and the Adam Air girl gives me three packs of instant pop mie!!! Air panas dari mana? Cari aja di airport Pak! Oh no! – this can’t be happening…

Arriving at Jakarta Soekarno-Hatta Airport and a new scam has invariably been put into operation. The one they’ve come up with this time is the one where you can’t get a trolley for your luggage cos they’ve all been appropriated by airport porters looking for some cash. There must have been over 100 of these blighters hogging the trolleys. Anyway, some Indonesians soon start to argue with the porters over this matter, giving me a chance to grab an unguarded trolley, and I make a beeline for the exit.

A manic drive through the traffic…

… and I’m home!!





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