10. Climb a volcano. Indonesia is part of the Pacific "Ring of Fire" and there are at least 129 volcanoes across the country – many of which could potentially erupt in the future. I’ve been up a fair number of them – “bagged” them as it’s apparently called. Plan the ascent to arrive at the summit at dawn and, if you’re lucky, you’ll be treated to a breathtaking sunrise – amongst, inevitably it seems, a sea of pop noodle packaging. Still my fave volcano must be Mount Bromo in East Java – not cos it’s a sinch to climb – but because of the ethereal, unforgettable spectacle it affords (the caldera around the volcano is so vast that when you walk up to the crater it really feels as if you are on the moon or something).
9. Play the stock /forex market. The volatility and irrationality on Indonesia’s capital markets (misguided optimism during the good times, excessive pessimism during the darker moments) offer rich pickings for level-headed investors and, in particular, “distressed debt” vultures. More of the same please.
8. Go fishing with an Indonesian fisherman. Get up at dawn and climb into a tiny little fishing boat which is soon rocking and swaying in the increasingly big waves which splash over the sides of the boat soaking you to the bone while the insides of your now rumbling stomach are threatening to push their way up and out of your throat. But things soon change and it ain’t long till the relentless tropical sunshine is melting you into a blob – and guess what? – there’s no way to hide from the sun whatsoever so you pull your T shirt over your head and start to pray. You somehow get back to dry land four hours later, instantly sink three liters of aqua, and thank the dear God above that you’re still alive. And the total catch? Three mackerel, two red snapper (kakap merah) and an old flip-flop. Indonesian fishermen? There for the grace of God go I…
7. Get a tattoo done. It wasn’t that long ago that tattoos were completely taboo in Indonesia’s towns and cities. In fact, back in the days of Suharto, there was even an infamous government operation known as Petrus-Penembak Misterius in which tattooed hoodlums were rounded up and promptly dispatched. This pretty much led to the death of the modern day tattoo culture and some tattooed people even resorted to ironing or bleaching out their tattoos – can you imagine how painful that must be? - leaving horrendous scars. But in recent years tattoos have made a huge comeback – at all levels of society - and even the spoilt kids of Jakarta’s nouve riche are having them done. In a way this is quite fitting as tattoos are very much part of Indonesia’s tribal culture – from the Dayaks of Kalimantan to the Balinese and the tribespeople of the Mentawai islands.
6. Take in a live music show. Nothing beats live music and it’s amazing how easy it is in a place like Jakarta to go out and literally rub shoulders with your favorite stars (like the irrepressible Julia Perez for example).
5. Visit the Antonio Blanco Museum in Bali. I’ve written about Antonio Blanco before, and I’d have to say he was one hell of a cool dude, although some may accuse him – unfairly in my opinion – of having a “one track mind” for his obsession of painting nude Balinese women and pretty much nothing else. Decide for yourself by visiting the majestic Antonio Blanco Museum in Ubud which is built on the grounds of his former home. The Blanco Renaissance Museum, Campuhan, Ubud, Bali. Telp: 0361 975502
4. Stay with an Indonesian dukun (soothsayer). When I visited the dry and arid island of Madura to watch the bull races (karapan sapi) a number of years back, I got into a bit of a sticky spot by ending up in some God forsaken village with no place to stay, just before sunset, and with no transportation to get the hell out. Luckily for me, though, a Madurese dukun – who was also attending the following day’s bullraces – very kindly invited me to stay at his home with his beautiful young wife and two kids. Now I’ve always known that these dukuns believe some seriously weird s**t, but nothing on Earth could have prepared me for what was in for store for me that night, suffice to say that people who practice black magic have some very strange ideas on what should be done to bring them luck (having said that, he made a killing the next day at the races!)
3. Take a trip to Bangkok from Jakarta (without flying). In the age of high speed communications we forget that the real beauty of going somewhere is not just in getting there but also in the journey. If you have the time, a really cool thing to do is to get to Bangkok from Jakarta by sea and overland. Good planning is essential of course – at least to get to Singapore – and from there on it’s pretty easy. I started off with a dilapidated bus to the extremely dodgy Tanjung Priok harbor - where thugs abound and you’ve got to keep your wits about you. From there the Pelni boat took us to the small island of Tanjung Pinang where you can get a speedboat across to Singapore. From Singapore, get the bus across to Malaysia and the train up to KL. And the next day it’s another train up through to Butterworth. It’s from here that you can get a wonderful old sleeper train that takes you all the way to Bangkok. It’s a great journey through rural Thailand and the Thai immigration check on the train was pretty bizarre. The next thing you know and you are in Bangkok - and that can’t be a bad thing can it?
2. Watch the Kecak Dance live in Bali.
Best known as the Ramayana Monkey Chant, this is not an authentic Balinese drama as many believe but in fact a collaborative creation between the famous German painter Walter Spies and Wayan Limbak in the 1930s. But does this really matter? Well I don’t think so – after all, football doesn’t mean anything less to the Argentineans just because it came over from good old England (whose expats were behind the establishment of many famous football clubs in Argentina such as Newell’s Old Boys).
1. Snorkel a coral reef. Yep, this is number one in my list because it doesn’t get much better than enjoying the beauty of Indonesia’s magnificent coral reefs which are home to a huge array of marine life. There are many reefs in Indonesia but some of the most accessible lie on Bali’s relatively undiscovered north coast, especially around Amed. Expect to see many species of tropical fish including brightly colored butterflyfish, as well as angelfish and probably the most readily recognizable of all coral reef fishes, the wonderfully shaped moorish idol fish. There are even huge triggerfish. But be careful: this highly territorial fish might bite if you get too close!
20-11
Yet another Indonesia WTF moment.
And this time on the net.
What are these girls employed as?
- “Guest relations” officers
- Tour guides
- Personal financial advisors
- Therapists
- Security consultants
Well, I’d have put my house on “guest relations” officers myself, but I’d be wrong.
Cos these girls are, in fact, therapists.
So if you fancy a difficult afternoon with one of these girls - who will undoubtedly do her utmost to delve deeply into the furthermost recesses of your mind - then you might like to pay a visit to one of the spas owned by the Comfort Group.
But why the hell they have 65 therapists on their payroll is way beyond me!
Services offered include both traditional and Shiatsu Massage, refleksi (foot massage), a hot and cold water pool, sauna and steam room and a mini bar and lounge.
So why not finish your tiring day with a happy ending?!!!
Contact details for the spas managed by the Comfort Group:
COMFORT SPA
Rukan Sentra Latumenten
Blok D7-12 Jakarta Barat
Telp : 56960198 - 56960
COMFORT SPA
Jl. Mangga Besar Raya 181
Jakarta Pusat
Telp : 6594828 - 6594837
COMFORT HOTEL & SPA
Komp. INKOPAL Blok B95
Jakarta Utara
Telp : 45859141- 4585914
FORTUNE HOTEL & SPA
Jl. KH. Mas mansyur No. 13
Jakarta Pusat
Telp : 57221251 - 5722152
FORTUNE HOTEL & SPA
Graha Wijaya Center Blok F21
Jakarta Selatan
Telp : 7206866 - 7206868
Gazza: Kill your son.
Jones: Why?
Gazza: To show that you love me more than your son.
Jones: But I do love you. You know that.
Gazza: Well prove it then. Kill your son.
Jones: But killing’s wrong.
Gazza: Watch it – I’m the one that gets to make the rules around here.
Jones: Can’t I kill my wife instead? I love her more than my son, honest
Gazza: Nope. Your son.
Jones: But if everyone was willing to kill someone to prove their love, they’d be an awful lot of dead people around here, wouldn’t there?
Gazza: Sure would.
Jones: Do I really have to kill him?
Gazza: Yes you do.
Jones: Oh, alright then.
Gazza: Actually, no you don’t! Just kidding!
Gazza and Jones share an intimate moment
Life's a piece of shit, When you look at it,
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go...
> Monty Python
20. Try a local brew. Indonesians are bigger boozers than most westerners give them (dis)credit for. But be careful if you want to join the party – some of the local brews here are so strong they make Tenants Extra look like lucozade. Indonesian hooch includes arrack, tuak & brem, but by far the strongest local brew I’ve come across is Cap Tikus (Rat Brand). Being a lot like motor fuel, Cap Tikus could be used to run your car and probably explains why there are so many blind people in Manado (where this terrible poison is produced).
19. Ride a Harley Davidson motorcycle in Java. There’s something about the guttural roar of a Harley Davidson engine that just makes my hairs stand on end. Sure you don’t get the high performance of the lightweight Japanese bikes – but you DO get great stability and admiring glances from just about everyone - including the traffic cops and others!
18. Have a night out in Mangga Besar. In the northern part of Jakarta is Chinatown and there are heaps of nightclubs, karaoke bars and other venues of disrepute to please even the most wanton reveler. As I remember, the scene used to be dominated by young Chinese off their heads on E, but never be tempted yourself - unless of course you want to know firsthand what Billy Hayes went through in Midnight Express.
17. Eat a strange animal. Again head to the Mangga Besar district of Jakarta and dine on such wondrous delicacies as lizard, frog, bat, snake, or even dog. But probably the most bizarre thing I ever saw was the head of a monkey placed on a table before the diner scooped out its brains. Makes you intelligent apparently – something, of course, this particular diner was not! Istana Raja Cobra King Cobra House Jl. Mangga Besar No. 93C ph. 6296087. West Jakarta.
16. Drink Kuku Bima jamu (herbal medicine) with 3 raw free range eggs. A “pick me up” of extraordinary proportions (I’m talking for myself here), the Javanese swear by this potent cocktail! And by God, does it work!
15. Fast for a day. Sin accumulates over time like the rubbish in the Ciliwung River and one way to make you realize what an ungrateful plonker you’ve been is to forego the earthly pleasures of eating, drinking (I mean any sort of drink, not just booze) and, er, that of course, during the daylight hours. Believe me it’s not easy, and in a tropical climate like Indonesia, I find it amazing that laborers can keep going until the fast is broken.
14. Write a letter/article for the Jakarta Post. It’s one thing to write something for a blog or website but something else to see your writing in print – even in a relatively low circulation newspaper like the Jakarta Post.
13. See Superman Is Dead. Live. I don’t care much for most Indonesian pop-rock music, but the Bali punk rockers Superman is Dead are pretty damn good at generating a hell of a lot of noise. Well worth seeing if you get the chance – they sing most of their songs in English and have toured extensively, including to Aus.
12. Visit a traditional village in south Nias. Ever wanted to take a journey back into the past? Well you can if you visit the megalithic island of Nias where, although time hasn’t exactly stood still, the good old traditions of human sacrifices, slavery and head hunting were still being reported as recently as 1935. Although you can’t unfortunately witness that sort of stuff any more, you can still hike from the traveler hangout in Lagundi Bay to the incredible inland villages which are stone paved and have some of the most amazing traditional houses you will ever see. To get to Nias they have some pretty dodgy vessels going across from the unremarkable Sumatran mainland town of Sibolga. My journey there and back again was pretty uneventful but one of my mates who went across a bit more recently had the trip of a lifetime when a storm developed and things got so bad that they had to chuck things overboard - including, would you believe, a motorcycle - just to stay afloat!
11. Go down a fast flowing Indonesian river in a tire tube. Still in Sumatra, although this time on the mainland, and you can find an orangutan sanctuary in a wonderful little place called Bukitlawang. Other than saying hello to our simian pals, you can rent old truck inner tubes and take an exhilarating ride down the fast flowing and bolder strewn Bohorok River. Superb.
10-1 to follow next!
31-21
Synopsis: the film opens "a few years from now" in a dystopian Indonesian future where land is scarce and law and order has completely broken down. A gang of motorcycle thugs – led by power hungry Dr. Weasel Wakrie - is running roughshod over a country town near Surabaya, vandalizing property, stealing fuel and violating the chastity of the local women.
What a bloody great film eh?
And that bit when The Toadie loses all his fingers after trying to catch the feral kid’s boomerang?
Simply unforgettable!
Yep, the new Mud Max film about the mud volcano in East Java is a real cracker, so make sure you check out the trailer now!
REMARKS BY PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA AND INDONESIAN PRESIDENT SUSILO BAMBANG YUDHOYONO AFTER THEIR RECENT BILATERAL MEETING IN SINGAPORE (AS RELEASED BY THE WHITE HOUSE)
Well that’s the gist of it anyway :)
I’ve been fortunate enough to get my grubby hands on a 2010 edition of the Guinness Book of World Records. And boy has the book changed since I was a kid! Not just the obvious lack of the legendary Guinness logo – obviously falling foul of these politically “correct” times – but also its shift to being an illustrated product with lots of fancy pics from what I would call a text-oriented reference book of lore.
Anyway, while browsing through the book I noticed there were only two or three references to Indonesia - not many when you consider Indonesia is the world’s fourth most populous country. So with a bit of help from Google and from what I already know I’ve tried to put together a list of Indonesian world records. I guess this will be a sort of work in progress and I’ll keep adding to it as new stuff comes to light. Any suggestions, would, of course, be appreciated!
1. Loudest sound ever recorded. The eruption of Krakatau volcano in 1883 was so huge that the top of the volcano literally blew off, creating the loudest sound on human record. The sound of the eruption even reached as far as Australia, some 3,450 kilometers to the east! Huge tsunamis were also generated, with waves up to 30 meters tall. Less than 80 years ago, Anak Krakatau rose from where the crater of its parent, Krakatau, used to be.
2. Smallest seahorse. An adult pygmy seahorse is typically just 16mm long – smaller than an average human fingernail. It is the smallest seahorse on record and was discovered in 2003 in the delicate corals of the Flores Sea. Masters of disguise, the original specimens were discovered only after their host gorgonian had been collected and placed in an aquarium. The pygmy seahorse below was discovered at a depth of around 32 m near the Tulamben shipwreck in Bali. But can you see it?
3. Longest lasting earthquake. The Sumatra earthquake in the Indian Ocean on 26 December 2004 was the longest lasting quake ever recorded. Its duration lasted between 500 and 600 seconds and measured from between 9.1 to 9.3 on the Richter scale.
5. Largest producer of instant noodles. Indofood Sukses Makmur is the world's largest producer of instant noodles with an installed annual production capacity of over 13 billion processed packs and 23 manufacturing plants across the archipelago. The company is indirectly owned by Sudono Salim - one of Indonesia’s wealthiest tycoons. Indofood is also the owner of Bogasari Flour Mills - the world’s largest flour mill company in the world!
6. Most number of endangered mammals – Indonesia has an estimated 667 mammal species – more than any other country – of which the UN says 146 are threatened. These include the binturong (Asian bearcat), the Javan rhino (nearly extinct, only 60 left) and, of course, the incredible orangutans of Borneo and Sumatra.
7. Country with the most Muslims. With an estimated 86% of its 228 million citizens being Muslim, Indonesia has more Muslims than any other country.
8. Largest flower. Rafflesia arnoldi – the rare blood-red Rafflesia arnoldi is the largest individual flower on earth and can grow up to 3 feet (90 centimeters) across and weigh up to 24 pounds (11 kilos). It is found growing on the jungle floor in Indonesia’s rainforests and unfortunately also smells a lot like shit.
9. Greatest lightning activity. In the Guinness Book of World Records, Cibinong in West Java is recognized as the place with the highest lightning activity in the world. In 1988, the local weather station recorded 322 days with lightning.
10. Largest mud lake. The huge mud lake in the Porong sub-district of East Java has been ongoing since May 2006 after a botched drilling attempt provided a way for the mud to spew out of the ground. Many villagers have not been compensated even though they lost their homes, but hey Indonesia now has the largest mud bath in the world, so why grumble?
11. Largest Buddhist temple complex. Borobodur, is a remarkable architectural achievement, and considered by many to be one of the seven wonders of the world. Its size: 60,000 m3.
12. Fastest growing plant. In the jungles of Indonesia you can find the world’s fastest growing plant. Called the krubi, it looks a bit like an overgrown tulip but with a long spike growing upward out of its center. And boy does it grow – taking only a few days to soar to heights of 10 feet before quickly dying.
13. Smallest Fish. The Paedocypris fish is the world’s smallest fish being only 7.9mm long. It is found in the swamps of Sumatra and lives in very acidic waters meaning it is very difficult to keep in captivity.
14. Suparwono, the world’s tallest man. Well not quite. But almost.
15. Garuda Wisnu Kencana – The World's Highest Statue (not yet).
16. The world’s largest nasi goring? Well certainly the largest I've ever seen!
17. Jakarta. We are not quite there yet, but according to Templeton Asset Management Ltd.’s legendary fund manager Mark Mobius, Indonesia's capital city Jakarta will be the largest city in the world within two decades.
18. Parung is home to the world’s Largest Quran.
I’ve been told that the Balinese haven’t taken steps in the past to eradicate dirty stray dogs from their island because they need a constant reminder that they are still on dreary Planet Earth rather than in paradise. But be that as it may, I’m sure they are now harboring some pretty serious regrets about not wiping out the canine menace now that rabies is spreading like wildfire and threatening to harm the island’s only real industry – tourism.
So, so far, what’s the damage?
Well, at least 17 dead and possibly more (cases tend to be underreported for obvious reasons):
Age / Date of death / Place of residence
6 / 10 Oct 2009 / Tabanan
49 / 7 Oct 2009 / Tabanan
78 / 16 Sep 2009 / Tabanan
47 / 14 Sep 2009 / Tabanan
24 / 6 Sep 2009 / Tabanan
21 / 6 Sep 2009 / Tabanan
62 / 22 Aug 2009 / Tabanan (age also stated as 55)
46 / 26 Mar 2009 / Ungasan peninsula
46 / 23 Mar 2009 / Uluwatu
45 / 30 Jan 2009 / Ruken
32 / no date / Bukit
3 / no date / Kutuh
28 / 23 Nov 2008 / Ungasan
3 / no date / Ungasan
32 / 13 Nov 2008 / Ungasan
4 / 17 Sep 2008 / Ungasan
Source: Flutrackers
As you can see, nearly all these cases are in the south of the island (Tabanan/Ungasan). There is one case in the north of the island (at Kutuh, just north of Amed), but the victim was most probably bitten by a rabid dog in south Bali or perhaps – just perhaps - a sick dog was transported to the north of Bali and it bit the person before being delivered to one of the notorious dog meat restaurants in Singaraja.
Everyone knows that rabies is very nasty and the very mention of the word conjures up the image of some hapless fellow who has gone delirious and is foaming at the mouth and crying out for a glass of water before his imminent demise.
But is rabies really this bad?
Well, unfortunately it is.
Because after contracting the virus (most likely from an animal bite), the virus will work its way slowly but steadily to the brain – taking anywhere from 8 days to 2 months to do so. And once there, death is virtually a foregone conclusion – only a handful of people have ever survived after developing the terrible symptoms of rabies – delirium, an unquenchable thirst, and of course, the strong desire to bite another person!
But this doesn’t mean there is no hope. There is – provided that the person who has contracted rabies receives specialized treatment -including a serious of injections - immediately after being bitten.
In Bali, the rabies epidemic is currently being spread by stray dogs in the south of the island. But could the disease be spread by other animals? And most worrying of all, could the disease spread to the many monkey populations in Bali like those in Ubud, Uluwatu and Sangeh – places which draw large numbers of domestic and foreign visitors every day?
Well for now the answer is that the monkeys are safe. So if you have been bitten by a monkey in Bali there is no need to worry. The point here – and it’s pretty obvious if you think about it - is that like us, monkeys also die pretty quickly from rabies once the symptoms show and as there have been no known deaths in the monkey populations of Bali then the monkeys must therefore be free of the disease (so far at least):
A monkey bite can infect a human with rabies just the same as any other animal infected with it can. Monkeys are NOT born with rabies. They need to be bit by another infected animal. If a monkey has never been exposed to rabies then no, its bite will not "cause" rabies. If however, the monkey has been around another rabid animal and it was bit, it can infect another animal or person if it bites them. Note, rabies is deadly in monkeys just as it is in humans, so a monkey with rabies would not live very long anyway.
Source: PetMonkeyInfo
But this may change.
And if the monkeys in Bali were to get rabies there would be a proverbial shitstorm of such immense proportions that Bali’s tourism industry could really come under the kosh – and perhaps as badly as when the terrorists struck before.
The authorities in Bali have been criticized of being slow to react to the rabies epidemic and the biggest criticism is that the culling of the stray dogs is being done in a haphazard way. The other problem is that they have run out of vaccines, so if you are bitten by a dog in Bali you wouldn’t be able to get the vital injections on the island!
And as for the advise provided by most foreign embassies to avoid dogs, well that’s a bit of a joke when you think about it. I mean no one is asking to be bit, but I can clearly envisage many pissheads walking back to their hotels in the early hours from some club, staggeringly drunk, and then accidentally standing on the tail of some mangy and rabid hound….
Advice for Travelers
Follow these recommendations to protect you and your family from rabies:
Avoid animal bites.
• Avoid touching all animals, including wild animals and pets. Pets in other countries may not have been vaccinated against rabies.
• Resist the urge to rescue animals with the intent to bring them home to the United States. Dogs and cats may be infected with rabies but not show signs until several days or weeks after you first encounter them.
• Supervise children closely, especially around dogs, cats, and wildlife such as monkeys. This is important since children are more likely to be bitten by animals, may not report the bite, and may have more severe injuries from animal bites.
• If you are traveling with your pet, supervise your pet closely and do not allow it to play with local animals, especially strays.
Act quickly if an animal bites or scratches you.
• Wash the wound well with soap and water.
• See a doctor right away, even if you don’t feel sick or your wound is not serious. To prevent rabies, you may need to start a series of vaccinations immediately.
• To get vaccinated, be prepared to travel back to the United States or to another area. (Adequate vaccination for exposure to rabies is not available in all parts of the world.)
• After you return home, tell your doctor or state health department that you were bitten or scratched during travel.
Before your trip, find out if your health insurance covers health care overseas and medical evacuation. If it does not, consider buying supplemental health insurance for your trip.
Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Indonesia’s transition to a democratic state must go down as one of the greatest achievements made by any country in recent years.
Because unlike the overthrow of despotic regimes in countries like South Africa and in the communist nations of Eastern Europe, no one really expected Indonesia to pull it off. But there lies the rap – Indonesia basically became a democratic nation by accident rather than because its people hold the values of democracy so close to heart (or at least any more than the Thais do, for instance).
What caused this accident was the Asian financial crisis, of course, and it came along at exactly the right time to end the despotic rule of Javanese patriarch Suharto. Any later and one of his kids - or perhaps a well-trusted crony – would have been at the helm and you can be sure they would have been a hell of a lot less willing to give up their presidential power than Suharto was.
I bet the Thais are now looking on in envy. Poor blighters.
And I am not frightened of dying, any time will do, I don't mind.
Why should I be frightened of dying?
There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime.
> Pink Floyd
30. Visit Schapelle Corby or another foreigner in an Indonesian prison. If you want to be reminded just how wonderful it is to be free then visit one of the many foreigners currently locked up in an Indonesian penitentiary and you will leave the prison gates a more content man than an alcoholic in an off-license on pay day. Most foreigners end up in the slammer for drugs offences and those incarcerated at “Bali Hilton” (Kerobokan prison) include such fuckwits as the Bali 9, French dude Michaël Blanc (who still pleads his innocence) and the once extremely fit but now very haggard Schapelle Corby. There are fewer foreign prisoners in the capital Jakarta - most of whom are locked up in the infamous Cipinang penitentiary in East Jakarta – but quite a few drug smuggling lunatics in Tangerang jails awaiting their execution. Bring along some books and food for the prisoner you intend to meet - and make sure you give them some pocket money as well – after all, you will never have to go back unless you want to; these poor blighters are in there for the long haul.
29. Have a massage. There are basically two “types” of massage in Indonesia and the one I am referring to is the respectable one which loosens up your muscles after a stressful day at the office. A profession which is often taken up by the blind, even elderly masseurs can have incredibly strong hands despite their frail appearance (and for the record, here's some info on where you might like to get the other type of massage).
28. Ride a becak. Although long since banished from Jakarta, becak (rickshaws) are still found in abundance the length and breadth of Indonesia and are a firm reminder that Indonesia is still a very poor country. But you won’t know how tough it is to be a becak rider if you just sit in the passenger seat like some sort of pompous twat: so go one step further and actually ride it yourself (more on that in 27 below).
27. Visit “Dolly” to conduct socio-economic research. Surabaya is a hot and dirty industrial city on the north coast of East Java. It is also home to SE Asia’s largest red light district (Dolly) where over 15,000 girls ply their trade. Named incidentally after one of its most popular girls (and not the cloned sheep), Dolly is a bloody incredible place - it’s like they took a huge honky-tonk Mexican border town and simply moved it piece by piece to Surabaya. There are row upon row of little shacks, and the streets are full of young women, old hags, greasy pimps, roaming minstrels, destitute beggars, and even little kids. To get there, myself and a mate borrowed a becak from one of the becak riders at Gubeng train station and rode it the not inconsiderable distance to Dolly. Things were not made any easier by the fact that Dolly is located on fairly high ground and by the time we eventually arrived I was panting like a dog and my sorry hamstrings were tighter than a Scotsman’s purse strings. After a good look around and a couple of litres of aqua later, we returned to Gubeng train station - virtually flying on the roads which sloped downward; hell even the cops waved at us – well they could hardly ticket us, could they?!!!
26. Slaughter a cow/chicken. If, like me, you are a bit partial to a nice juicy steak then you should have no qualms about slaughtering the beast whose flesh you are only too willing to dine on. I got my chance to undertake the gory deed a few years back on the Islamic animal sacrifice day of Idul Adha (this year it takes place on 27 November). It was not a cow whose neck I slit with my razor sharp knife but some unfortunate kambing (goat) - which doubtless ended up on skewers as sate kambing (my favorite).
25. Go to the top of Monas. Don’t miss the chance to go to the top of the phallic looking National Monument (Monas) which is oft referred to by locals as Sukarno’s last erection (Indonesia’s first president was famous for his sexual prowess). When it was built Monas was Jakarta’s tallest building but it is now dwarfed by the many huge skyscrapers that line Jakarta’s major thoroughfares. On a good day the view ain’t bad but often visibility is reduced by Jakarta horrendous air pollution.
24. Watch a cockfight. Although the sport may not go down too well with the RSPCA, cockfights are still an integral part of Balinese culture. And here I quote:
The fighting goes down with an assortment of birds measured by height, weight, and wing span to make for an even battle. When two birds match, they're fitted for a razor sharp blade that is tightly tied around one foot, with the blade sticking out the back. The birds are held face to face as their feathers are pricked to stimulate aggression. A fury of money changes hands as bets are accepted. The roosters are taken to their respective corners and released.
For one, maybe two minutes, roosters fly in the air and that's it. The loser backs off, slowly collapsing to the ground. Their legs are then sliced off or the throat is cut. The losing bird is scooped up and skinned right outside the stadium to get ready for the dinner pot. The winning rooster will be heading there as well, as most times their injuries are just as bad.
Source: Josh Grillo
23. Drive from Jakarta to Bali. If you are something of a sadomasochist and want to drive the grueling 1,044 kms from Jakarta to Banyuwangi before taking a ferry across to Bali then go for it. Alternatively, choose the easy option and just go by plane in a mere one and a half hours.
22. Make a commercial. Everyone wants to be a film star – or so it is said – and in Indonesia they are always looking out for foreign looking types to appear in commercials – either for the domestic or international market. But be prepared for a grueling couple of days – for most of the time you’ll probably be waiting for the other scenes in the ad to be filmed.
21. Attend a political rally (esp. PDIP). Long gone are the days when political rallies were a battle cry for real change – now they are more of an excuse for political parties to make a show of force and create traffic congestion. Party political rallies generally take place in a short time window ahead of the elections, so you’ll probably have to wait until 2014 when the next parliamentary and presidential elections will take place.
20-11 to follow next
40-31
Do You Realize - that everyone you know someday will die
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round…
> The Flaming Lips
Life is short and there is no point in pissing it away so I thought I’d make a list of things you should do in Indonesia before you die. It would of course be a lot easier to compile a list of things you wanted to do, but that would be cheating. All the things on this list I’ve compiled from experience. Ok, so here’s the first part of the list:
40. Watch a football match. Forget the premiershits and take in some “real” football instead. The league games in Indonesia are unpredictable, farcical and often extremely violent – the soldiers aren’t there just to enjoy the game – so leave your personal possessions at home. The national stadium at Senayan is hugely impressive and I thoroughly enjoyed watching Lazio play there many years back - even though the crowd in the upper stands did take to throwing piss-filled aqua cups onto the unfortunate spectators below. As for the MU debacle, well that was a huge disappointment of course – I would have loved to see them get turned over by an Indonesian XI!
39. Eat an entire durian yourself. Definitely an acquired taste, the English writer Anthony Burgess wrote that dining on this fearsome looking fruit was “a lot like eating vanilla custard in a latrine”. Nuff said methinks.
38. Visit the Badui. Just a few hours drive from the bright lights and polluted skies of Jakarta are an ancient tribe who, incredible as it may seem, eschew the modern world entirely (no handphones, IPods, electricity, machinery or even vehicles!). Houses have no water and bathing is done in the nearby stream. All good fun – well at least for a couple of days!
37. Smoke a 234 Dji Sam Soe non filter cigarette. With nicotine and tar levels well off the radar screen, these cigarettes are a two-fingered salute to the politically correct health fascism of the West.
36. Visit the Golden Mosque. Drive through the wastelands of suburban South Jakarta and eventually you will see the most incredible sight: a gold domed mosque! In Indonesia it’s known as Masjid Kubah Mas, or otherwise as Masjid Dian Al-Mahri, and it’s built on a plot of 80 hectares surrounded by fruit trees and a few other large and luxurious buildings. Amazingly, all the domes, pillars, chandeliers and other ornaments are covered by pure 24 carrat gold. Food for thought, considering all the poverty outside!
35. Feed a Komodo a chicken. These humongous-sized lizards evoke the dinosaur age and despite their large size (average length of 2 to 3 metres), they are bloody fast and can pounce on their prey in an instant. Only found on a few small islands in Indonesia; pay Rp20,000 for a chicken and feed it to a komodo in their natural habitat. And if you can’t be arsed to make the arduous trip to Komodo Island, simply visit Ragunan zoo in Jakarta, where the friendly zookeepers will let you feed these awesome beasts.
34. Attend a ngaben cremation ceremony in Bali. A joyous celebration of life over death, even the most hardened atheist cannot fail to be moved by this emotionally charged ceremony. At the beginning of the ceremony the body of the deceased is placed in a sarcophagus made in the form of a bull (Lembu) or in a wooden temple structure called a Bade. This is then carried - on a crisscross of bamboo poles - to the cremation site. Here prayers are said and other rituals performed. The sarcophagus is then burnt. Later the ashes are taken to the sea and the whole cycle is complete. In 2008 I was fortunate to attend one of the largest ngaben ceremonies ever held in Bali: a great experience.
33. Swim from one island to another. Not as difficult as it sounds as there are somewhere in the region of 18,000 islands in Indonesia and a fair number of them are within swimming distance of each other (like the idyllic Gili islands off the west Lombok mainland for example). Wear fins to make it easier and - for obvious reasons - do NOT try to make the crossing unless you are being shadowed by some sort of boat or you could easily end up having a very grisly death.
32. Wear a durian flavored condom. Fruit flavor condoms are a hit the world over, although the durian flavor (made by Simplex) might be just a bit too much of a mouthful for some!
31. Plummet down the speed slide at waterbom. The speed slides at the waterbom parks in Jakarta and Bali are bloody fast and the feeling of shooting down the steep drop at what feels like 250,000 miles per hour will either have you coming back for more or heading off to the nearest bog to puke your guts out.
30-21 to follow soon.
On a recent flight to Bali and I was looking through the in-flight magazine in the casual way that you do and I come across a page with some “interesting” numbers on it. But one number stood out in particular though, and that was the one suggesting that Indonesia’s independence was only recognized in 1959 rather than in 1949.
A rather embarrassing mistake to say the least - and this from an Indonesian airline which – along with three others – has been given approval to fly to Europe.
Let’s just hope they are better mathematicians when it comes to the engineering for the servicing of the planes!
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