Alterity | Jakarta and Bali

Well, well, well. Would ya believe it? Former Miss Indonesia, Agni Pratistha, has only gone and shocked so-called “polite society” by joining the growing ranks of homegrown celebrities in Indonesia’s very own Topless Hall of Fame! Here she finds herself in the esteemed company of leggy model Davina Veronica Hariadi , Javanese wonderbabe Tiara Lestari and second-rate actress Andi Soraya – to name but a few! Rather ironically it seems to me, Agni chose not to ease off the bra straps for one of the “Lad’s Rags” like FHM or Playboy but instead opted for the Indonesian version of the French style magazine ELLE as the publication to showcase her refined sensuality. The French, as we all know, are a dapper hand at this sort of stuff and while they do sometimes get a little too offbeat for my tastes – that butter scene from Last Tango in Paris being a good example – it has to be said that they know how to take a very good sensual photograph or three. Enjoy. C'est une fille sympa, Agni T...

Dave, a well known party animal, is in his favorite bar where he spots this gorgeous looking woman he has never seen before. Being the outgoing type, he walks up to her and asks her his name. "Carmen," she replies. “That's a lovely name," says Dave. “Did your mother choose it?” "No, I chose it myself," she answers. "Oh, that's interesting,” says Dave. “But why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like MEN," she says looking directly into Dave’s eyes. "And what is your name?" "Mr Snortscrew…” But while drugs are no laughing matter (expect for those on nitrous oxide, perhaps!), they do provide the makers of the upcoming anti-drugs film “X-THE LAST MOMENT” with the perfect pretext to hone their focus on the remarkably-talented Cinta Dewi, who, as a hopeless junkie, tragically abandons herself to a tormented life of drugs and casual sex. So enjoy the film. And stay away from drugs okay?!!! Easily addicted to Cinta Dewi’s c...

Hell hath no fury like a woman accused of table-top dancing. So take pity on Gerindra legislator Noura Dian Hartarony who now has steam coming out of ears after being accused by Kartika Djoemadi of getting drunk before climbing onto a table and showing off her dance moves: Pada Kamis (6/5) lalu, Noura diberitakan mabuk di Cafe, Sudirman, Jakarta. Dalam kondisi mabuk itu, Noura dikatakan sempat naik ke atas meja dan menari-nari sambil membagikan kartu nama anggota DPR miliknya. The accusations so outraged the attractive legislator that she reported the comments – which had been made on the social website Twitter – to the Indonesian police. "Saya ada di restoran Black Cat untuk urusan bisnis," ujarnya. Bersama tiga temannya, Noura memenuhi undangan rekan bisnianya.” Table dancing, or bartop dancing as it is often called, is typically an erotic dance performed at (or on) a patron's table, as opposed to on a stage. Compared to pole dancing it’s tame stuff and in Jakarta it c...

The Colosseum in Jakarta? You’ve gotta be joking right?!!! Well, not exactly. Sure you won’t find too many gladiators battling other gladiators or ferocious wild animals - but you will find legions of world weary party-goers living it up like it was there last day on planet earth. The action all takes place in an arena that spans over 1,000sqm, making it one of the largest – if not the largest club – in Jakarta. Especially impressive is the high ceiling – 16 meters up it is, which affords great views of the stage – whether it’s a brutal fight to the death among gladiators, or far more likely, a live music concert. Many big names from the Indonesian music industry have played here, although there is a strong emphasis on techno/house party type gigs – often featuring foreign acts - so check out their twitter account (@ColosseumJKT) for the latest info. The club is managed by the same group behind the infamous Alexis Hotel and Emporium Spa – two of the most decadent men...

I don't need you or your brand new Benz Or your bougie friends. I don't need love looking like diamonds Looking like diamonds ~ Ke$ha Berlian Massage and Spa is a cheap and cheerful spa-cum-massage joint located in the heart of Jakarta’s frenetic China town. The cost is only around Rp300k - remarkably good value for a slow-burn soapy “body to body” massage which leads to its inevitable climax. As for the therapists, they are, well both able and willing, but admittedly not quite as polished as their fellow sisters who work in the city’s more prestigious spas. So don't expect to see too many stunners here. Finding Berlian Spa is a challenge itself since the spa is tucked away in a side alley off the main road very close to Hotel Mercure – just keep your eyes peeled for the Berlian sign. Needless to say - given the traffic mayhem in the area - this is far easier to accomplish if you are on foot rather than in a car or taxi. Have fun! Berlian Massage and Spa ...

Just one Cornetto, give it to me, delicious ice-cream, of Italy, vanilla and choco dream, Give me a Cornetto, from Wall's ice cream. In the latest swashbuckling issue of FHM, we have been treated to a Feast – or should that be a Cornetto? – of a pictorial featuring former Metro TV babe Chantal Della Concetta as you have never seen her before !!! And make no mistake: what a scoop this is! No, not of ice cream but rather a devastating photoshoot that shatters Chantal’s good girl image and reveals her wild and wicked side for the very first time … If she would wear clothes like this while reading the news, ratings would soar. The talents of buxom beauty Chantal Della Concetta extend to beyond reading the news. And holy crap – is that a tattoo on her arm? For more pics you’ll just have to buy the latest (May 2011) edition of FHM. But be quick. Cos it’s selling out fast! Bio: Chantal Della Concetta was born in Bandung on July 27, 1980. Her names come from three different countries: Chan...

One of the great culinary experiences in Jakarta is the “all you can eat” buffet. They are most common at:    1) Jakarta’s over-the-top wedding parties where the gargantuan amounts of foods prepared at just one of these events could probably feed all the villagers in Lombok for a day or two; and  2) The restaurants located within Jakarta’s 4 and 5 star hotels.  Although many people jump at the chance to gorge themselves silly, I tread a little more warily. It all goes back many years to an experience I had at university when some bright spark had the idea of laying on a party for us students with a fixed entrance fee of £15 - and with an “open bar” policy.  The thing was, however, that £15 was quite a whack to pay at the time, so as a bunch of hard-up business management undergraduates, we were obviously gonna make damn sure that we got our money’s worth.  But a beer every ten minutes for a couple of hours does have its consequences – and in our case inc...

The V2 was the world’s first long range ballistic missile. And, strangely enough, it is also the name of a decadent nightclub in Jakarta’s infamous Chinatown, where bombshells are indeed common - albeit of the feminine kind.  So what’s it like?  Well, there’s no real consensus. Some thrill seekers find the sexy dancer shows a real buzz – even if the commercial aspect of it (the girls keep pressing you to buy them drinks at Rp50k a pop) is rather crass.  Others, by contrast, find it shameless, overpriced and gaudy. And they have a point – why blow at least a million here when you could simply have a couple of drinks in a hotel bar (or restaurant) and then visit one of the many specialist spas in the area for a slow-burn massage with a delectable therapist of your choice? Verdict : Good for a stag night or perhaps to bring a client for a “lads’ night out”. Getting there : V2 is located in the Duta Merlin building in traffic-congested Chinatown. Head to the third floor f...

You can’t polish a turd, but you can recycle an old one. And that’s what we have here with the second installment of Akibat Pergaulan Bebas (The Dangers of Casual Sex), a supposedly “educational film” that seeks to “warn” movie goers of the dangers of casual sex by, rather ironically, ramming it right down their throats for the good hour and a half that this sorry film lasts. Drawing from real events like the Peter Porn saga, the adult rated movie portrays the ups and downs (as well as the ins and outs) of the life of a spunkey young movie star called Denis, who, despite having a luscious girlfriend named Rasty, still manages to get his end away with the already married Tiara and the equally lush Dini. But like the incarcerated Ariel, Denis is a budding DIY AV video maker and has kept a number of rather sordid videos on his notebook which – of course - he then goes on to lose. They spread quicker than the clap in a shantytown brothel, and it ain’t long before the videos are the talk o...

A woman in Jakarta is cleaning her husband’s desk and in one of the drawers she finds 3 golf balls and a box with Rp5 million in it. Curious, when her husband comes home later that evening, she asks him why he has hidden these things in the drawer of the desk. After hesitating a short while, the husband then tells her that he is very sorry but each time he cheated on her over the last 10 years he put a golf ball in the drawer. Although very upset at first, the wife comes to the realization that 3 times in 10 years actually ain’t too bad in a city with many temptations like Jakarta, and she cheers up a bit. “But what about the Rp5 million?” she asks him. “Have some side-work you’re not telling me about?” “Oh no,” replies the husband. “Every time I get a dozen golf balls I sell them.” According to the Indonesian filmmakers, “9 out of every 10 guys cheat”. But they could be wrong of course - as the figure does look to be a bit on the low side!