Mammary implants in Asia

They should never have allowed Baywatch to be shown in Asia.

Cos week after week of seeing ultrasexy American beach babes has really affected the Asian psyche, and even resulted in feelings of gross inadequacy given that most Asian women – the Chinese in particular – are not exactly noted for their measurements in the mammary department.

So what happened?

The obvious of course – Asian women started to go in for breast implants in a big way.

Done professionally, this isn’t a problem of course.

But it is when a lot of women who can’t afford high priced breast implants decide to opt for a much cheaper solution.

So what do you have?

Thousands and thousands of young Chinese women maimed by an “amazing gel”:

LI MEI is slim, with hair that falls almost to her waist, and pretty enough to draw looks in the street. But her husband refuses to come near her, and, in any case, her breasts are too painful to be touched.

She is one of hundreds of thousands of Chinese women who wanted bigger breasts and spent several hundred pounds at beauty salons for injections of Ao Mei Ding — or Amazing Gel. But in Mrs Li’s case, such as countless others, the operation went wrong.

The gel has formed hard lumps in her breasts, caused infections and migrated around her body.

Such miracle medicines are nothing unusual in this part of the world of course as Asians seem to be particularly gullible to miraculous medical solutions, although most of them are thankfully just useless rather than actually harmful.

In the years I’ve been in Indonesia I’ve seen all sorts of ridiculous stuff: anything from body stretching that can turn you from a shorty to a six-footer, to miraculous weight-losing schemes that allow you to eat like a horse and still lose weight, or even “wonder pills” that can “cure” short sightedness.

And then there are the suction devices that can turn Mr short d*** man into the next John Holmes.

Oh – and that “amazing gel” in China. You don’t think they were injected that stuff into badgers as well do you?

Oh yes they were!!

Imagine the pain those poor blighters must be feeling now! Argggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!