Indonesia vs. Malaysia

Indonesia is the big older brother who didn’t quite make it, living in a cheap rented house on the outskirts of the city, and twice divorced. His little brother Malaysia, in contrast, is nuevo-rich, stylish and confident, and owns a luxurious apartment uptown.

No wonder they’re always squabbling.

Sukarno didn’t like Malaysia much either and famously tried to “crush them” (Ganyang Malaysia) under his konfrontasi polices back in the 60’s. Read about that

Some 40 odd years later and the Malaysians are taking revenge it seems.

Cos in an extraordinary show of mindless brutality, a bunch of Malaysian cops decided to beat the hell out an Indonesian referee who was in Malaysia for the Asian Karate championships:

"I was helpless as I was hit and kicked in the pit of my stomach, chest and abdomen," Pieters Luther said when he arrived at Soekarno Hatta airport on Monday.

He said that the incident began when he returned after attending a technical meeting of the Asian karate referees at Alison Kelana Hotel in the Nilai district, Malaysia, in the wee hours of Friday last week.

Because there was no more taxis, he chose to return to his hotel on foot but on the way about 60 meters from Alison Kelana hotel, he was stopped and attacked by four Malaysian policemen in plainclothes.

All in the celebrity deathmatch spirit of course. So who would win? Indonesia or Malaysia? Here’s the lowdown:

Freedom of Speech. Well there’s no contest here: Indonesia has a dynamic publishing and broadcasting industry while Malaysia persecutes bloggers and decides what things Malaysians read about and don’t read about (Indonesia *****, Malaysia no stars)

Democracy. Malaysia’s political system is designed to keep the government in, while Indonesia shows them how it should be done (Indonesia ****, Malaysia no stars).

Religious freedom. Still remember Lina Joy? Enough said. Again Indonesia is miles ahead even if some extremists do continue to pose a threat (Indonesia ***, Malaysia **)

Chicks. Again a no brainer. Indonesian chicks are much hotter. Even the Malaysians will admit this – and some of ‘em are even coming over to Indonesia to find a hot Indonesian girlfriend like the lovely Bunga Citra Lestari. (Indonesia *****, Malaysia **)

Norman Tebbit’s cricket test. Malaysians can play cricket and Indonesians can’t. Malaysia wins this one (Indonesia no stars, Malaysia ***)

So all in all, a clear victory for Indonesia then. Malaysia is trailing way behind on nearly every measure. Even if they can play cricket!


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