BMTH live in Jakarta 2024

Image
This time around Ravel gets it right and BMTH (Bring Me The Horizon) are headlining the Nexfest festival in Jakarta which also features Babymetal. In this format there is no seating - which makes for a much more intimate experience - although you do have to arrive really early if you want to pick a spot right up close to the stage.  We arrived about six hours before BMTH were scheduled to start their performance and bought plenty of drinks to stay hydrated in the tropical afternoon heat (mind you, some of those were Iceland vodka mix!) This was a gig I had long been looking forward to - especially after the debacle last year. Not everyone likes BMTH of course. For deathcore fans the band sold out. For metal heads the band is not purist enough. And for the wider mainstream audience, the band is too heavy. You can't please everyone of course but there are few bands in the rock world which can match the sheer emotional velocity of BMTH. To bring metal and even aspects of metalcore t
Post a Comment

Immoral vegetables and fruits banned in Indonesia!

After the government ban on several spicy dangdut songs, including Julia Perez’s classic "Jupe Paling Suka 69" ("Jupe Likes 69 Best"), the government now plans a new law banning trade in "immoral vegetables and fruits". 

The new law is one of the strictest in the world and will come into force on 1 April 2012. Anyone found guilty of purchasing an erotic vegetable or fruit faces six years in prison and a fine equivalent to US$109,000. 

The Minster for Morality and Truth said that the "negative effects" of these products was putting the nation in great danger and that something had to be done before everyone was having “free sex” just like the debauched Americans do. 

 “We first became suspicious when we noticed that nearly all purchases of vegetables and fruits were being made by housewives,” said the Minister.

 women eating bananas
According to the latest data from the IMF, Indonesia now ranks third in the world amongst countries with the highest production of erotic vegetables and fruits, suggesting that the problem had now reached epidemic proportions. 
 
“This is very worrying”, said the Minster. “Not only are we a market for erotic vegetables and fruits, but also a major producer.”

testicular rambutans for sale in JakartaStreet trade in highly addictive testicular rambutans is increasing given the huge profits to be made. 

To show that the war on erotic vegetables and fruits was being won, the police on Wednesday destroyed Rp 398 billion worth of erotic vegetables and fruits confiscated during raids over the past week. The incineration of 5,675 bunches of phallic bananas, 1,934.36 kilos of stiff green cucumbers and 110,564 hairy rambutans took place near the Center for Science and Technology Research in Serpong, Tangerang. > END 

NB: this post is purely satirical - for the time being at least!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 10 best plus plus massage spas in Jakarta

Image
UPDATE 12/10/2018: due to the large number of hits this page has been receiving of late, readers should note that two of the spas on the list are, alas, no longer with us. They are: 1) Hotel Alexis , which was closed down for political reasons by the new Jakarta Governor Anies Baswedan and 2) Illigals , which was "closed" and promptly reopened with a new name due to its reputation as a drugs den. In place of Hotel Alexis, therefore, I would instead put Classic Hotel on the list - a real humdinger of a joint in this madcap city! A list of the top ten plus plus spas in Jakarta? Okay, without further ado (or should that be aduh!!!) here it is: 10. Malioboro Spa . Over cynical and commercial yet fun if you stick with it – a bit like watching Chelsea on one of their better days. Hey that’s a point – even Torres could score here! Hahaha! Wallet damage: Rp1million ++ 9. Emporium Spa . Overpriced but the facilities are pretty good. Go for the “one hour special package” if yo
Read more

20 things you should know about Indonesian women

Image
1. Unlike Western women who can’t drive to save their lives, Indonesian women are the best drivers in the world. I know this because my woman overtakes other cars at 130kms/hr on the inside safety lane of the Jakarta-Bandung toll road while, at the same time, keying in SMS text messages. 2. Indonesian woman love shopping. Indonesian woman love shopping. Indonesian woman love shopping. 3. According to the Indonesia Bureau of Statistics, 43 percent of 18- to 34-year-old Indonesian women live with their parents. So be very very careful if she invites you back to her place or you might get much more than you bargained for. 4. Indonesian women think dark skin is bad, but they still adore Anggun . 5. Thirty-two percent of women in Jakarta now color their hair, according to Estee Lauder (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 68 percent). 6. Jakarta women can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a nasty fight with you for no reason whatsoev
Read more

The comfort zone (Jakarta hotel and spa)

Image
Yet another Indonesia WTF moment. And this time on the net. What are these girls employed as? - “Guest relations” officers - Tour guides - Personal financial advisors - Therapists - Security consultants Well, I’d have put my house on “guest relations” officers myself, but I’d be wrong. Cos these girls are, in fact, therapists . So if you fancy a difficult afternoon with one of these girls - who will undoubtedly do her utmost to delve deeply into the furthermost recesses of your mind - then you might like to pay a visit to one of the spas owned by the Comfort Group . But why the hell they have 65 therapists on their payroll is way beyond me! Services offered include both traditional and Shiatsu Massage, refleksi (foot massage), a hot and cold water pool, sauna and steam room and a mini bar and lounge. So why not finish your tiring day with a happy ending?!!!   Also see: The 10 best plus plus spas in Jakarta Contact details for the spas managed by the Comfort Group, undoubtedly some
Read more