1. Unlike Western women who can’t drive to save their lives, Indonesian women are the best drivers in the world. I know this because my woman overtakes other cars at 130kms/hr on the inside safety lane of the Jakarta-Bandung toll road while, at the same time, keying in SMS text messages.
2. Indonesian woman love shopping. Indonesian woman love shopping. Indonesian woman love shopping.
3. According to the Indonesia Bureau of Statistics, 43 percent of 18- to 34-year-old Indonesian women live with their parents. So be very very careful if she invites you back to her place or you might get much more than you bargained for.
4. Indonesian women think dark skin is bad, but they still adore Anggun.
5. Thirty-two percent of women in Jakarta now color their hair, according to Estee Lauder (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 68 percent).
6. Jakarta women can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a nasty fight with you for no reason whatsoever. There’s nothing at all you can do. Plan to spend your weekend at the gym instead.
7. Tattoos used to be very very bad but have become more acceptable in recent years (especially small artfully done works). But tire treads usually spell big trouble of course.
8. Don’t call her “Manis”. That’s what they call kids. “Sexy” is best and “Sayang” is cool, but “awesome” is okay when she’s slightly pissed.
9. A lot of Indonesian women like dodgy Indonesian pop music. Really dodgy Indonesian pop music. Don’t say you haven’t been warned!
10. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it. Be especially careful of whose namecards you have in your wallet, the shenanigans on your hard drive and the names of your “contacts” in your handphone.
11. Over the course of her life, an Indonesian woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you’re paying for her younger sister’s education and you’re not getting any rewards yet, you're one of the 10.
12. Indonesian women will spend hours on a treadmill but they don’t like walking. Understand that. I once had to waste 30 minutes sitting in a taxi to get to the Hard Rock in horrendous traffic rather than use the bridge over Jl Thamrin.
13. If they're going to cheat on you, most Indonesian women do so between the ages of 18 and 64.
14. You'll probably never know how many guys she's been with. The standard lie is she had been a cherry and that you were the first!! Hahaha! In truth it’s somewhere around 10-15.
15. Unlike Western women, Indonesian women don’t have to pretend that they have small feet. They do have small feet.
16. Indonesian women hate the sun, so take an umbrella with you if you go on a beach holiday to Bali.
17. If an Indonesian woman needs reassurance about her bust size, just say they are fine. You don’t want to emotionally cripple the poor thing for life (or pay for breast implants).
18. The average yuppie woman in Jakarta owns 27 pairs of shoes (in addition to 3 pairs of aerobic trainers), 19 bras, 38 pairs of panties, 67 T-shirts/tops and 25 pairs of jeans.
19. If you’re playing around, gain her trust by calling her at 10 P.M while you are in some seedy Blok M bar. She’ll go to bed happy you’re thinking of her, even if you’re getting pissed.
20. Indonesian girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Indonesian girls don’t like sports. They much prefer to sit down and take it easy!