Alterity | Jakarta and Bali

Wealth after all is a relative thing since he that has little and wants less is richer than he that has much and wants more.   ~ Jean Cocteau Many people in Indonesia are pretty much used to getting music and DVDs for almost nothing, so I was interested to see that Radiohead have told their record label to get lost by making their new album only available via the band’s website – with fans paying whatever they like to download the 10 tracks. How very ethical of Radiohead you might think, but it’s actually a rip off. Cos while most fans are apparently choosing to pay around US$10 on average to download the tracks, that’s way more than Radiohead would have got in royalties from a CD sale (the CD may sell for US$20 but the record company, distributor and retailer all have to take their share). Radiohead proving to be even better capitalists than the ones they like to denounce. Or perhaps they are aspiring economists? Not that there are times when you should choose to pay more than you h

Indian beauty Malaika Arora Khan is refusing to don a bikini in the Indian leg of the Ms Bikini World contest that will be held in Goa this December. But this is not for religious reasons. Or even ethical reasons. But because the organizers can’t afford to pay the price Malaika quoted. One of the organizers of the event says, “We wanted Malaika to do a segment where she wears a bikini. We spoke to her but she asked for too much money. We couldn’t afford to pay her that much.”

Indonesian women are just like women anywhere else it seems. Cos if you upset ‘em – my wife went all huffy over my plans to put her gold jewelry to a better use ( see previous post ) – then the options open to you to undo the damage are pretty much as follows: Take her shopping; or Take her shopping; or Take her shopping So it was off to that Mecca of shopping malls, the huge and wondrous Mall Taman Anggrek , in Slipi, West Jakarta. Besides all the shops and restaurants in there, the mall is also home to Jakarta’s only ice skating rink, and what’s really bizarre is that the people skate around in an incredibly orderly fashion – never bumping into each other or knocking each other over – which is, of course, in complete contrast to the sheer mayhem that you see on the roads here. Anyway, it’s some massive department store and there are perfume/cosmetic girls everywhere – some better looking than others – and as I step into the store one comes up to me: Her: Tje Fuk? Me: Er, don’t you t

1. Unlike Western women who can’t drive to save their lives, Indonesian women are the best drivers in the world. I know this because my woman overtakes other cars at 130kms/hr on the inside safety lane of the Jakarta-Bandung toll road while, at the same time, keying in SMS text messages. 2. Indonesian woman love shopping. Indonesian woman love shopping. Indonesian woman love shopping. 3. According to the Indonesia Bureau of Statistics, 43 percent of 18- to 34-year-old Indonesian women live with their parents. So be very very careful if she invites you back to her place or you might get much more than you bargained for. 4. Indonesian women think dark skin is bad, but they still adore Anggun . 5. Thirty-two percent of women in Jakarta now color their hair, according to Estee Lauder (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 68 percent). 6. Jakarta women can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a nasty fight with you for no reason whatsoev

Pembaca blog ini pasti tahu bahwa saya pengagum Monas, sebuah monumen mewah yg dibangun President Sukarno tahun 60an. Membangun monumen ini memang habis banyak uang. Dan waktu Monas dibangun, banyak rakyat Indonesia hidup susah payah. Makan aja susah. Tapi Sukarno tetap ngotot. “Monas harus dibangun!” dia teriak. Memang Monas bukan sekadar monumen saja, tetapi sebuah simbol kemampuan sexual si pemimpin. Seperti Nelson’s Column di London atau the Washington Monument di America. Berarti, dengan membangun monumen ini, “vitalitas” Sukarno tahan selamanya walaupun dia sudah lama meninggal. Berapa minggu lalu sewaktu saya memotret lunar eclipse di Monas saya punya idea: saya akan bikin sebuah Monus di halaman rumah saya! Tentu saja saya nggak bisa membangun sebuah monumen sehebat Monus yg ada di Lapangan Merdeka - saya cuma wong cilik kok dan dana saya terbatas. Tapi saya masih bisa membangun sebuah monumen yg cukup mewah juga – ketinggian tiga atau empat meter mungkin. Tapi kapan saya se

Indonesia is the big older brother who didn’t quite make it, living in a cheap rented house on the outskirts of the city, and twice divorced. His little brother Malaysia, in contrast, is nuevo-rich, stylish and confident, and owns a luxurious apartment uptown. No wonder they’re always squabbling. Sukarno didn’t like Malaysia much either and famously tried to “crush them” (Ganyang Malaysia) under his konfrontasi polices back in the 60’s. Read about that here .  Some 40 odd years later and the Malaysians are taking revenge it seems. Cos in an extraordinary show of mindless brutality, a bunch of Malaysian cops decided to beat the hell out an Indonesian referee who was in Malaysia for the Asian Karate championships:   "I was helpless as I was hit and kicked in the pit of my stomach, chest and abdomen," Pieters Luther said when he arrived at Soekarno Hatta airport on Monday.  He said that the incident began when he returned after attending a technical meeting of the Asian karat

When a job’s worth doing, it’s not worth doing well. That’s the approach the Jakarta local council is taking in constructing a network of dedicated “bus lanes” in the capital. First off, they can’t even be bothered to widen the roads. Nah - that would be far too much effort. Yet, at the same time, they have gone to the trouble of elevating the latest bus lane that runs along Jalan Gatot Subroto. But why? Doing this doesn’t serve any purpose whatsoever. And to run heavy buses on six inch thick concrete is sheer stupidity of course – it won’t be long before that concrete starts to crumble (especially after a few months of heavy rain). So what is the council achieving apart from dramatically pushing up the costs? Ah – but there you have it. Dramatically pushing up the costs. That is the purpose according to someone I know whose brother is a contractor. And after the Rp1.5 billion bus way shelters, he reckons the elevated concrete bus way is gonna be another nice little earner… But there a

It’s the weekend and I’m over at the wife’s sister’s house, enjoying the pool I wish I had, and her eight-year old son totters up to the edge to fill up his water gun with more “ammo”.  He’s wearing a Chelsea football shirt for some reason, and so I suggest he supports another club. “Chelsea are a girl’s team”, I tell him, “and a bit rubbish as well”. Rather cruel I know, but this is short-term pain for long-term gain: I could, after all, be saving him from a life of shame and total humiliation.  But the little blighter is more stubborn than I expect, and just fills up his gun regardless. “J C”, I shout, “you really don’t know how terrible Chelsea are, do you?” He then looks up at me, thinks for a moment, but while I’m expecting some spiel about how great Drogba or Frank Lampard are, he catches me slightly off guard and (in response to my JC utterance no doubt) asks me if I’m a Christian!!   “So what if I am,” I reply.  “But Christians go to Hell”   “Who told you that?”   “My teach

It’s good to see people standing up for what they believe in. So I was real glad to see that the bootylicious singer Beyonce has cancelled her Malaysian show after the authorities there had ordered her to cover up and wear “conservative clothing”. Stuff that for a laugh! As if a woman in the 21st century can’t wear what she wants! And anyway, what’s the point of going to a Beyonce concert in the first place if you can’t see her perform her outrageous onstage antics? What are the Malaysians actually thinking? That people would go along merely to hear her sing? Hahaha! But Malaysia’s loss is Indonesia’s gain. Cos to make up for the Malaysian show Beyonce’s announced she’ll do a show in Jakarta on 1 November instead! Bootylicious!! Long live Beyonce!!!!!

I had to call a laborer over at the weekend. I invited him in and asked him his name. “Selamat” he replied. Heck. As if I couldn’t have guessed! Because just about every labourer I’ve ever met in Indonesia has been called “Selamat”!!!! Obviously a popular name in the kampongs then, but perhaps not the best choice if you want your son to become an investment banker or doctor or something. Names are very important of course. And research in the States has shown that you won’t even make it to the interview stage if you are named Cody or Destiny and want to get a decent job. Your CV will just be tossed away. But if you’re named Marie-Claire or Sacha? Well, then you’ve got one foot in the door already. As for Indonesian girl names? Well, whatever you do, don’t name your daughter either “Sita” or “Ina”. Unless you’d be happy for her to be slaving away as a pembantu 15 years down the line of course. And as for the English sounding names some Indonesians are naming their kids, well some of t