Conservation of Indonesia’s priceless rainforests may be important but it doesn’t generate cash, so I wasn’t too surprised to see this banner advertising furniture at the Forestry Ministry:


So that's where the forests end up!

We can only hope, of course, that it’s all being done in a “sustainable” manner – whatever that means when it comes to hacking down rainforests which have been there for millennia.

The state company advertising the furniture, PT Inhutani I, reportedly manages around 630,000 Ha of natural forest located in East Kalimantan and South Sulawesi.

That’s enough forest for an awful lot of furniture – most of which is exported to Europe, Japan and the US.

Oh death please consider my age
Please don't take me at this stage
My wealth is all at your command
If you will move your icy hand
Oh the young, the rich or poor
Hunger like me you know
No wealth, no ruin, no silver no gold
Nothing satisfies me but your soul

>O Death by Ralph Stanley from the O Brother, Where Art Thou? Soundtrack

We’ve all gotta go sometime and most of us will probably end up in a graveyard or in an urn on Aunt Molly’s mantelpiece.

In Bali they end up in the sea.

Sure some fabulously rich people have had their corpses “cryonically preserved”, but they have as much chance of being brought back to life as the dinosaurs I reckon.

At the other extreme, Diogenes took the view that there was no philosophical reason whatsoever to respect dead bodies and he was insistent that his dead body be chucked out to the dogs.

Everyone has a different opinion it seems.

Even when they’re dead.

In Jakarta, hidden away in a quiet corner of this frantic and chaotic city - and almost completely forgotten about - is an old Dutch cemetery called Taman Prasasti.

It first started to be used in 1795 and is uncannily calm, mysteriously spooky and – as I was surprised to find out – home to a remarkable collection of slowly crumbling artwork.



Jakarta’s weeping angels!

There are some fascinating graves here and although some of the older tombstones are unreadable many of them are in surprisingly good condition.

One that piqued my interest was of a Liverpudlian lass named Mary Anne Mackenzie who died at sea in 1873 (not because of the Krakatoa eruption, if you were wondering; that happened 10 years later in 1883).

She was aged just 21.

And this was her fine epithet:

Farewell dear friends, my life is past
My love to you so long did last
And now for me no sorrow take
But love each other for my sake

In fact, back then most of the people died pretty young – 40 years seemed to be a good innings.

Looking around and there are other interesting things to see. And no graveyard would be complete without the macabre of course, and there - up on that tomb – what the hell is that?



Yep, it’s an old skull impaled on a spear. Nice I don’t think!

Some of the people buried at the Taman Prasasti cemetery are:

• Adami Caroli Claessens, Catholic priest.

• Adriaan Osstwalt (1674-December 30, 1734), director general of the Dutch East Indies.

• F.H. Roll (founder of STOVIA medical school, now University of Indonesia)



• Johan Harmen Rudolf Köhler

• Jan Laurens Andries Brandes (1857–June 26, 1905), a Dutch author, historian, and archeologist who collected Hindu statues now in possession of the National Museum of Indonesia.

• Miss Riboet, a 1930s artist.

• Olivie Mariamne Raffles (died November 23, 1814), the first wife of British governor general Thomas Stamford Raffles).

• Pieter Eberveld

• Soe Hok Gie, an Indonesian activist.

Source: Wikipedia.

I couldn’t find them all. Maybe you’d have better luck than me!

My full set of pics are here on Flickr.

Taman Prasasti Museum
Jalan Tanah Abang I Jakarta, 10160
Tel: +61 21 315 4094

South Bali

Kuta/Legian
Originally put on the map by Aussie surfers, Kuta has been transformed from a sleepy Balinese village in the 60s into a chaotic tourist destination in just two generations. Yet for all its crassness, Kuta’s appeal is surprisingly far-reaching. Not only will you find the ubiquitous Aussie surfers but also backpackers from around the world, grossly tattooed chavs (of both sexes), beautiful bikini babes, well-heeled Japanese and Koreans and, perhaps a little surprisingly, quite a few conservatively-dressed Muslim tourists in their full religious garb. But hedonism always did have universal appeal. The nightlife, as you might expect, is raucous and raw – as are the skins of the many sunburnt tourists who have spent too long under the blisteringly hot tropical sun.

Where to stay in Kuta
Cheap hotels: in the Poppies I and II side alleys which lead to the main road running the length of the beach
Expensive hotels: by the beach – Hard Rock Hotel etc etc

Tanah Lot – which is about 45 minutes drive away - is a useful diversion if you fancy visiting a more spiritual sort of tourist trap.

Jimbaran
Conveniently located only 15 minutes away from the airport, Jimbaran is a quiet fishing village with a rather average beach. The area has been hyped for its seafood restaurants, but they are, if truth be told, ridiculously overpriced (Rp22,000 for a coke! WTF!) and serve very average food. You have been warned!

Sanur
Sanur is a lot more laid back than Kuta but doesn’t have much going for it IMHO. Better to get a boat across to the much more interesting island of Lembongan.

Nusa Dua
Nusa Dua is a “gated” resort area in South Bali where well-heeled holidaymakers stay in very expensive resort type hotels. Yes, this is technically Bali - but you wouldn’t know it but for the hotel’s piped Balinese music and the large Hindu statues outside.



Not far from Nusa dua is Tanjung Benoa, the best place in Bali to do watersports like Parasailing, Jetski, Banana Boating, etc. Don’t bother to book in advance. Just turn up early in the morning and you should be okay.

Uluwatu
Uluwatu is a large limestone peninsula, connected to the rest of Bali by a narrow stretch of land just south of the airport, and best known for:
1) its rugged coastline and beautiful surfer beaches;
2) a bizarre statue which, if ever completed, would be the world’s largest;
3) a wonderful temple which teeters precariously on high cliffs with rocks and boulders far below;
4) its ultra expensive accommodations which are built by the cliffs offering spectacular views. Some villas even have private infinity swimming pools.



Central Bali

Ubud
Ubud is a modest sized “village” in the hills of southern Bali and is a popular holiday destination for new-age hippies, artists, budding film makers, yoga enthusiasts and middle-aged divorcees looking to “find themselves” (whatever that might mean, although it generally involves a shag fling).

It is true that Ubud has become rather over-commercialized in recent years – as witnessed by the overpriced eateries and pretentious art galleries that sell unoriginal artworks at ridiculously inflated prices - yet the village still casts a magical spell over all who visit it.

Ubud is indeed a very mystical place. Choose the wrong hotel or homestay and you will fail to get a decent night’s sleep: the demons and evil spirits will do their best to dance the night away and keep you tossing and turning in your bed until dawn.

Places to visit in Ubud
The Monkey Forest (don’t get bitten), the Antonio Blanco Museum. Eat fusion food at NOMAD and wonderful pork ribs at Naughty Nuri’s.

Nearby to Ubud
Besakih Temple is an hour away but be psychologically prepared if you visit this temple.
Tampaksiring – 30-45 minutes away.
Shop for souvenirs at the Sukawati art market – 20-30 minutes away.

Lake Batur
Lake Batur is a breathtaking lake with an ethereal ambience at dawn when the mists slowly lift to reveal the lake’s beauty and the high walls of a vast crater rim of an ancient volcano.

Lake Bratan
Lake Bratan is Bali’s second largest lake and a peaceful retreat away from the beer-swilling hordes who stay in Kuta and other places in the south of the island. Nice but Lake Batur is more interesting.

North Bali

Singaraja
Sleepy administrative town in Bali’s north. Nothing much going on here but it is pleasant enough and the traffic is light.

Lovina
Laid-back beach resort. Not much to do here. Better to head along the road to Tulamben/Amed.

Eastern Bali

Candidasa
Nothing special here.

Tulamben/Amed
This area on Bali’s north eastern coast is thankfully free of the excessive commercialism and crass cultural tourism that plague much of Bali’s tourist industry. Noone here will try to sell you a mass produced low quality woodcarving or ‘original’ oil painting at a specially-for-you tourist price of 100 US dollars. Instead you will find superlative opportunities for snorkeling and diving, as well as unspoiled beaches and sleepy fishing hamlets, with magnificently rugged scenery and Bali’s highest volcano Gunung Agung (3,142m) providing a spectacular backdrop.

1) Sunbathe too long – especially around mid-day. This is the tropics remember, and unless you want to know what it must have been like to be a survivor in Hiroshima, then cover up, use copious quantities of suntan lotion, and, better still, just get out of the sun!


2) Drink cheap Bali booze. It may be cheap but there’s a bigger difference between ethanol and methanol than you might imagine: any cheap spirit containing the latter will almost certainly kill you within two hours after consumption.

3) Have sex on the beach. Unless you take “precautions”. Hahaha!


4) Drive while under the influence. Or you may end up in the ditch.

5) Believe anyone who offers you any sort of “financial dealings” in any form whatsoever. Bank scam!

6) Avoid karma and don’t step on the offerings in the streets; simply walk around them. Although it’s actually not that bad a thing to do, I always feel guilty if I accidentally step on these mini works of art.

7) Get bitten at the monkey forest. Rabies is unlikely but you may get herpes. Yucks!



8) Whilst at a Balinese ceremony, do not blind the hapless participants with the bright flash attached to your Nikon or Canon. I hate people who do this! Buy a proper flash that can be pointed upward or better still crank up the ISO, widen the aperture (to f/1.4 say) and shoot without a flash.

9) If you’re British then whatever you do, make sure you don’t lose your passport!

10) Don't pay the first price you are offered in a market like the one at Sukawati. As a rule of thumb, the first price offered by the seller is probably about three times the item’s real value.

Let’s say you’re standing 1 meter away from a door and you want to walk to the door.

But before you arrive at the door, you must reach the halfway point. But to get to the halfway point you must first reach the quarterway point. And so on, ad infinitum.

So to travel to the door you must travel these distances: ½ meter, ¼ meter, 1/8 meter, 1/16 meter, 1/32 meter, 1/64 meter etc etc.

So Zeno argues that because the sequence goes on forever, you must cover an infinite number of finite distances (*).

Meaning of course that you will never get anywhere.

Bit like Jakarta really.


(*) The paradox wasn’t exactly solved but a more streetwise fellow than Zeno simply got up and strode the 1 meter to the door before rubbishing the abilities of the erstwhile Greek philosopher.

Mbah Maridja - the heroic mystic who took on a powerful volcano and lost - lives on.

His legacy, ads on dirty Jakarta buses for the energy drink Kuku Bima.


But will the legacy last?

Well, at least until he's painted over.

Logic presumes a separation of subject from object; therefore logic is not final wisdom. This is Zen. This is my motorcycle maintenance.
> Robert M. Pirsig (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values)

Back in 1997 Honda launched the single cylinder 197.00 ccm Tiger 2000.

I bought one straight away.

Over the years, this trusty motorcycle has served me well and saved me many hours that would otherwise have been wasted in soul-destroying traffic jams.

She is very reliable (always starts first time) and is never prone to ailments like PMT, MT or post-MT (although her carburetor did leak fuel for a while).

This is the point where I could throw in some smutty innuendo about “what a good ride she is” but I won’t go down that particular “route” (or should that be root?)

When it comes to motorcycle maintenance in Indonesia the key is to focus on the basics and never to overlook stuff like regular oil changes; keeping the tires well inflated; and even keeping the bike clean and free of dirt.

It’s truly the important things in life that matter; everything else is superfluous.

And no need to get your hands dirty. Just bring the bike to a regular bengkel (workshop) and they’ll take care of everything.

Yep, this is the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance in Jakarta: like pretty much anything else in this waCky city, forget about the ethics and just pay someone to do it for you!

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan

Only 5 years ago, it was pointed out that one single US tech company, the behemoth internet stock Google - which was valued by the market at more than US$130bn - was incredibly worth more than ALL the companies listed on the Indonesian stock market with total capitalization of around US$80bn.

Quite incredible I’m sure you’ll agree.

One single company that operates in the virtual world (what exactly are its assets?) is worth more than all the listed banks, coal mining companies, CPO producers, retailers, property developers, telecommunications firms and others listed on the Indonesian Stock Exchange.

Wow!

So what exactly does it tell us?

Well, that Google’s search engine is great and that Yahoo’s is crap. And not forgetting of course that Google is the preeminent internet company with a virtual empire covering almost the entire globe.

But it also tells us that there is huge potential just waiting to be unleashed in Indonesia – because there is no way all the listed Indonesian companies should be worth less than Google – and that if only Indonesia could get its act together, then Indonesian share prices would surely take off.

And this is exactly what has happened.

As a result, Indonesian listed companies were worth US$210 billion at the beginning of last year, or higher than Google’s valuation of US$189 billion.

And by the end of 2010, the Indonesian market’s value had soared to an astonishing US$346 billion, or far above Google’s US$192 billion!!!

Jakarta stocks had a great year in 2010

NB: the valuations of tech stocks is utterly insane. The estimated value of Facebook for example is put around US$42 billion – up threefold in just 12 months! And as for Twitter? That’s worth an estimated US$3.7 billion! Twitter are said to be making considerable revenues (how I wonder?), but are still loss making, having high overheads with over 300 employees. How does that West Ham song go? I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles / Pretty bubbles in the air / They fly so high, / Nearly reach the sky / Then like my dreams…