Safe sex and avoiding psycho women in Indonesia

I don't think we should see each other any more.

-Patrick Bateman in American Psycho

Nah this ain’t a posting about using the mandatory rubber before diving into that ocean of delights, but rather on how to avoid the psychotic females that prey on expats in Indonesia.

Not that there are that many of them out there of course. Probably no more than in other countries. But if you’re a player in Indonesia, you’ve got to be damn careful. Cos before long, the nature of probabilities will mean it’s your turn to draw the short card. And then you’ll really be in the sh##.

So who are these psychos?

Well, perhaps the most common are the delusional.

These are girls who have only one thing in mind: Marriage. Sure they may be willing to #### you and #### you before they attain their long-term objective. But M is what they have in mind. Never forget that. From the very first minutes they speak to you they’ve already thinking about what kebaya they’re gonna wear on the big day.

If you get involved with a girl like this, the M question will probably pop out after 3 months or so. And these girls never let up. And you can’t shake ‘em off no matter what you say.

You look like crap. Your breath stinks. I feel sick just looking at you.

It doesn’t matter what you say. They just continue smiling…

And they never give up. I even had one girl camping out in front of my house after I had disconnected the phone. Not good news. And it gets even worse when the screeching starts and all the curious neighbors are wondering what the hell is going on…

Less common, but far more lethal are the headcases. Nasty bitches who are simply out to destroy you. Luckily I had always managed to avoid such devils during my years as a single man, but many guys are less lucky. Like fellow blogger Avi who recently wrote about such a girl:

…But behind those eyes lives the most twisted brain on the planet. This chick is ‘Fatal Attraction’ times 10. After a few drinks she is capable of parking her car in front of your house or apartment with her hand glued to the horn and Alanis Morissette blasting on her stereo. She WILL remind you of the mess you left when you went away.

Not good news. So what can you do about it?

Well, IMO, it all hinges on saying the right things when you first meet. Most delusionals are simply after your money (even if you don’t have any). Tell ‘em you came to the bar by Metromini and that your five-year assignment in Sibera starts in two weeks. That usually gets rid of em. And if the chick is okay, she’ll probably laugh and stay with you.

Secondly, is the namecard. This is very very important.

One guy I knew was always successful on his trips to Singapore. I asked him his secret and he told me about the infallibility of his namecard strategy. Basically it works on percentages. You go out to shopping malls, wherever, bump into chicks and after a brief chat hand ‘em a namecard. Call me at 9. Of course many will not be interested – but some will. It’s all probabilities. Mathematics. For every 10 namecards he handed out, he would get one phone call. And it has been said that the percentages in Jakarta are even better.

The namecard should be simple and only contain your name, hp no and perhaps a job title. Under no circumstances should you put any info about your company or residential details on the card. This makes it far more difficult for a psycho to track you down. If the girl turns out to be okay, you can always give her the info at a later date.

Happy hunting!!!!