BMTH live in Jakarta 2024

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This time around Ravel gets it right and BMTH (Bring Me The Horizon) are headlining the Nexfest festival in Jakarta which also features Babymetal. In this format there is no seating - which makes for a much more intimate experience - although you do have to arrive really early if you want to pick a spot right up close to the stage.  We arrived about six hours before BMTH were scheduled to start their performance and bought plenty of drinks to stay hydrated in the tropical afternoon heat (mind you, some of those were Iceland vodka mix!) This was a gig I had long been looking forward to - especially after the debacle last year. Not everyone likes BMTH of course. For deathcore fans the band sold out. For metal heads the band is not purist enough. And for the wider mainstream audience, the band is too heavy. You can't please everyone of course but there are few bands in the rock world which can match the sheer emotional velocity of BMTH. To bring metal and even aspects of metalcore t...

Marrying an Indonesian woman

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. 
- Lewis Grizzard

This is a post about marrying an Indonesian woman in Indonesia.

Well, the first consideration of all, of course, is to ask yourself honestly whether the marriage has any hope of lasting. Better to cut and run at this early stage than to deal with a failed marriage.

In short, you need to do your homework.

Ask yourself what kind of women she is? I’ve identified most of the common types in my ‘expat guide to Indonesian women’ (socialite, upwardly mobile villager, career woman, university student, tomboy, little miss religiosity, and aspiring model).

This covers a lot of ground, of course, but from my own personal experience I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is to ensure you are a good match.

In particular, especially if you are a bule, you need to be aware of the R factor. Indonesia is, after all, one of the most religious countries in the world and while you can ‘covert’ and brush this sensitive topic under the carpet in the early stage, it will come back to bite you in the future, I can assure you. The older a woman gets, the more religious she gets. And once into the 40s she is eying her path to heaven, and that according to her religion depends on you. Don’t say you haven’t been warned! 

Marrying a woman from a lower socio-economic background also presents its challenges. While these women can be very loyal (especially if they are Javanese), they believe that it is your responsibility alone to provide for your family and most likely others in her family as well (such as her mother etc). This obviously can raise questions over whether she is merely a gold digger, although to be fair, it’s often pressure from her family that causes her to behave like this. Boundaries clearly need to be set otherwise you will simply be taken advantage of.

Also on a cautionary note, it is extremely important to make sure that you haven’t fallen for the dreaded psycho. These women are masters at disguising their true character, which inevitably is only revealed after the marriage takes place. More about these women here.

Anyway, assuming she is the girl for you and you want to get married, then what next?

Well, preparing the wedding stupid!

This is likely to involve a large ceremony as Indonesians believe it is vitally important to let the whole world know a marriage is taking place (even though this could now be done much more easily nowadays through social media channels such as Instagram!).

Also be aware that marriage in Indonesia can only take place between couples of the same faith.

So if you marry a Muslim lady and you are not Muslim then you will have to convert. This involves reciting the shahadah. Oh and one other thing: you must be circumcised. Don’t worry it doesn’t hurt. Much. Hahaha.

After reciting the shahadah and choosing a Muslim name you will get a certificate proving your conversion and this is needed in order to become legally married.

Apart from that you also need to get a letter of ‘no impediment’ from your country’s embassy showing you are able to legally get married, as well as undertake a health check-up at a local government clinic to prove that you are healthy enough to get married (actually they test your blood for HIV).

Once married your wife can sponsor your visa in Indonesia (KITAS – temporary residence permit).

It lasts for one year but can be extended on a yearly basis.

After two years of marriage, you can apply for permanent residence (KITAP).

You may also be wondering whether it is possible to work in Indonesia.

Well, it is but if you want to work in the formal sector you will still need to get a work permit. More on that here.

So good luck. And here’s to many years of happy marriage!

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