Alterity | Jakarta and Bali

Pegasus Spa is great value for money, I’ll give ‘em that. Just don’t come with high expectations: it’s not that sort a place.  But if you have a few hours to burn and are looking for some light relief then you won’t be disappointed.  While you are at it, take the opportunity to practice your Bahasa Indonesia with the (mostly) very fit young therapists, or, if you are so inclined, a local language like Bahasa Sunda.  You have two different types of room to choose from: standard or VIP.  So why not become a very important person for the day and get the bonus of a TV and bathtub in your room? Nice.  Room rates include use of the sauna, steam room and hot and cool pools.  All in all, you shouldn't spend more than Rp200-300k for a visit here – very good value for money in today’s Jakarta. Pegasus Spa Jalan Pinangsia I Raya (Pinangsia - Tamansari) JL. Pinangsia 2, No. 14-16, West Jakarta

Her name is Wiandra Devi Ozawa and she comes from the hillside city of Bandung where the climate is cool but the girls are hot and pretty . And she is the latest internet sensation !!! From Facebook to Twitter - and from Blogs to Internet forums – the feline charms of this sultry cat have found an appreciative audience. So move over Sinta and Jojo. Your time is up. Make way for the new Queen of the Internet!!!! In the woods and looking confused. SpOOKy!!! Sexy is as sexy does. Some say that Wiandra bears an uncanny resemblance to Japanese video star Miyabi. What do you think?

Long legs are sexy. But why? Well, a recent study by researchers in Poland says it is because long legs show you have good genes and are well nourished. Just like the exquisite Atiqah Hasiholan Atiqah Hasiholan: the sexiest legs in Indonesia? Probably. Fashion note : If you have short legs (most Indonesian women do!), don’t panic! Sure, growing longer legs is probably not an option – but you can find ways to make your legs look longer when compared to your overall body size. High heels are an obvious option, but they can be very painful. Alternatively, keep your dress as short as possible – but within reason of course!

Change is about the only given constant in Jakarta’s mercurial nightlife scene and entertainment venues come and go very quickly. So after a brief foray into the Chili's Grill & Bar Restaurant on Jalan Thamrin for a quick beer, I was very surprised to see that Afterhour Jakarta is still going strong some 11 years after it opened back in 2001. Quite what the secret of this upmarket billards joint is I’m not really sure – the drinks are very expensive for example – but it does have a great central location in the venerable Sarinah building and a DJ who spins some pretty wicked tunes. And you might even get to make new friends!   Afterhour Sarinah Gedung Sarinah Lt. 2 Jl.MH Thamrin No. 11 Central Jakarta Telp (021) 3983 2047 afterhour@afterhour.co.id

There are lots of pregnancy jokes going around at the moment and one of them is that the insatiable Jennifer Dunn has given birth… … in prison!!! Hahaha! And whilst on pregnancy jokes here’s one you might find funny: It was the talk of the town when an 85 year-old man married a 20-year-old women. Anyway, after a year she went to hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again replied, "You've got to keep the old motor running." And the same thing happened the following year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man." He again responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil… … this one's black." H...

Coy as you like, Indonesian bombshell Indah Kalalo has played down her sensational swimming pool antics in the new movie Mafia Insyaf. “The scene in the swimming pool? Just a camera trick! It wasn’t as vulgar as it looked. In acting we have to be serious and show our professionalism.” Yeah, right. We believe ya. Course we do…. Way to go, Indah Kala-lo!!!

It's been raining a lot in Jakarta. Picture: Reuters   But with more heavy rains predicted, make sure YOU don’t get caught out like Yudi above. Here's how! How to survive a flash flood in Jakarta 1. Have a predetermined place for you and your family to meet if you are caught in floods away from home. Obviously, the place you choose to meet should be on higher ground: the top of Monas or BNI 46 is ideal. 2. Build your home in an elevated manner (possibly on stilts, if appropriate). People in Jakarta are already learning to do this. 3. Consider the damage that could be done to low level areas of your home and act accordingly: i.e. only use the first floor of your home as your living quarters. If your home only has one level – as many houses in Jakarta do – well then you’re f**ked. 4. Construct your OWN floodwall – everyone for themselves, right? 5. Keep emergency rations in the event of prolonged floods. This should include a few days worth of non-perishable...

Cut Meutia is a national hero, revered for her bravery in resisting the Dutch occupation of her native Aceh, and for which cause she eventually gave her life in 1870. Not to be confused, of course, with the new modeling sensation Cut Muthia. Hands up if you think Cut Muthia has what it takes! Cut Muthia is already damn hot, so why is she wearing a jacket?

My wife’s brother has a huge house in the historic Central Java town of Yogyakarta , and from the balcony on the second floor, you get a view something like this: But the monkeys are already scrambling down from the slopes of the volcano to lower ground. They know something is up. And if they are right, this might be the view from my wife’s brother’s house anytime soon: Merapi eruption 15 May 2006, photo APP Thankfully, though, the volcano is a touch over 20kms from Jogyakarta (judging from this NASA satellite image ), so anything less than the “really big one" shouldn’t directly threaten the city (Jogyakarta’s far enough to be safe from any lava flows reaching it). But could Merapi erupt big time? Well, some people seem to reckon so: Surono, head of the Volcanology and Geological Disaster Mitigation Agency (PVMBG), said the distension of the mountain’s slopes was much more rapid this time around, indicating a higher-pressure build-up of gas and hence a much more explosive eruptio...

God, I hate Honda. I really do. It’s only a few days away, and they’re gonna launch the Honda VTR250… … in Thailand! Arggg!!!! But why not here in Indonesia? Hell, it’s not as if there wouldn’t be any demand; there surely would. And I’d be the first to put my name down on the waiting list! But so far, the big Japanese motorcycle manufacturers – with one notable exception, Kawasaki – have failed to come up with the goods. For them, the Indonesian motorcycle market is just a huge “mass market” of seething mediocrity, meaning they only produce and sell girly little bebek (duck?!!!) motorcycles (which strangely enough are mostly ridden by guys) and relatively low-performance men’s motorcycles like the Honda Tiger and Yamaha Scorpio. Yet will things change? Well, possibly. Because now that the AFTA (Asia Free Trade Agreement) has been signed, Indonesia can no longer impose ridiculously high import duties on motorcycles made in other Asian countries – as was the case in the past. This is wh...

No doubt about it. Laura Gemser is one of the sexiest actresses ever to grace the screen. Born in Java in 1950, of mixed origins, Laura Gemser remains to this today a unique beauty in the history of motion pictures. She began her career modeling for fashion magazines, but after one of her pictures fell into the hands of an Italian movie producer, the rest is history, as they say. Welcome to the world of soft prawn. Her exotic features won her many fans the world over, but she will always be best remembered for her role as Black Emmanuelle. My particular favorite is the classic “Emmanuelle And The Last Cannibals” (1977). In this outrageous gorefeast, Laura Gemser (as the sexy journalist Emmanuelle) joins an expedition into the jungles of the Amazon. Emmanuelle is of course extremely hot, fresh meat in every possible sense. Enough to bring out the cannibal in anyone!!

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. ~Humphrey Bogart It’s difficult to find a really quiet street in Central Jakarta but Jalan Veteran 1 is one of them. There’s nothing much in the vicinity except for a number of large government buildings and the phallic-like National Monument ( Monas ).  To get here you really have to make an effort. And that explains why this bar is usually very, very quiet. This pretty much rules out the bar for those looking for some female company – or even just someone to talk to – but it could be the perfect place for a discreet rendezvous with your mistress.  The bar is small, classy and nostalgic and the smoking rooms a magnificent two-fingered salute to political correctness. Sit back in a sumptuous armchair and order a cognac. Humphrey Bogart would be in his element. He really would. Cuba Libre Jakarta Jl. Veteran I No. 30-32 Gambir Central Jakarta Telp: (021) 344 6703

Great news this! Sexy TV star Julia Perez has fought off tough competition from the likes of former strongman Suharto and others to be declared as “the nation’s greatest hero”. Nah. This is not true, unfortunately. But the strange thing is that it should be . And why? Well, how many of those other heroes on the recently compiled list can claim to have saved as many Indonesian lives as Julie has? According to the UNDP, there are an estimated 200,000 people living in Indonesia with HIV - about half of them contracting the virus through sex (the other half through sharing needles). So that means that 100,000 people have HIV because they failed to use condoms. So just imagine for yourself, then, how many Indonesians are free of HIV because they DID use a condom! Well, we cannot know the number of course, but it must be in the tens of thousands and probably in the hundreds of thousands. And many of these people may have decided to use a condom only because they were convinced by Julia’s cl...

Lush Aussie model Grace Brenton attributes her success in winning another bikini competition to her US$2 bikini which she bought in the tropical resort island of Bali! "It's the biggest joke among my friends," she said. "But I don’t mind as it seems to be my winning bikini." But while the bikini is nice, one can’t help but think that other factors have played a part in her deserved success… Grace Brenton is blessed with a fine bikini

To save the 33 trapped miners in Chili cost a lot of money. US$20 million to be precise. So was the money well spent or should it have been used for other purposes – like on life saving operations for the poor, for example?  Welcome to the red hot academic mini industry: Trolleyology.  It all goes back 20 years to one of the most famous dilemmas ever devised in philosophy, which, as I remember, put my ethics professor at university on the edge of a nervous breakdown (I think he was only saved by heavy bouts of whisky drinking).    The core problem involves two thought experiments - call the first “Spur” and the second “Fat Man.”  In Spur, an out-of-control trolley—or train—is hurtling towards five people on the track, who face certain death. You are nearby and, by turning a switch, could send the trolley onto a spur and save their lives.  But one man is chained to the spur and would be killed if the trolley is diverted. Should you flick the switch?  In...

O lay… O lay o lay o lay... It’s Olla Ramlan, an Indonesian supermodel with a particularly bizarre inclination – - she likes to get tattooed scribblings all over her body!!! And so passionate is she about these tattoos that she has already got 12 of them done! Two of the tattoos are the names of her mother and father. This one is her mother’s name: But that still leaves another 10 unaccounted for. What they are and - more interestingly – where they are - is open to conjecture, but I think I have a damn good idea where some of them might be! Hahaha! Below: the view from behind. How many tattoos can you spot? And if you said three, you are correct! Well done!

If you are looking for a list of Indonesian celebrities in alphabetical order, then you have come to the right place. Because what follows is exactly that. A list of Indonesian celebrities in alphabetical order. Am I repeating myself here? Well yes. But never mind.  The girls on the list are a varied bunch indeed and include actresses (yes, f___ you the woke crowd if you don't like that word), singers, dangdut artists, newsreaders, beauty contestants, and even politicians. But variety is the spice of life. Or so they say. So why not check out some of the celebrities below. You may even learn a thing or two...  Adinia Wirasti Agnes Monica Agni Pratistha Aline Tumbuan Alannys Weber Andhara Early Angelina Sondakh Anggun Anita Hara Anya Dwinov Artika Sari Devi Arumi Bachsin Aura Kasih Aurelie Moeremans Ausia Marvella Ayu Anjani Ayu Azhari Baby Margaretha Bella Saphira Bunga Citra Lestari Caroline Zachrie Cornelia Agatha Cut Keke Cathy Sharon Cynthiara...

Dira Sugandi is a bright ray of light in the drab and dreary world of jazz music. Forget the boring men in suits - for what we have here is a highly talented artist with a voice so husky and sensual that it will send shivers right down your spine. And she doesn’t look too bad either – even in some old fisherman’s nets!

Yes, they do send people to Coventry in Indonesia! And in the most unlikely of places: Bali!!!!  No it doesn’t sound too bad I know, but being sent to Coventry in Bali is actually a far worse proposition than being sent to Coventry in England.  But ostracism anywhere is of course no fun at all and according to psychologists is actually a form of mental abuse (you’ll be well aware of this if you’ve ever been caught by the wife or girlfriend looking at some things on the internet you shouldn’t have, and then she decides to give you the hump for the next few days).   But in Bali things are taken to a whole new level:  If he (Made Rai) leaves his family compound, his neighbors look away and refuse to speak to him. He is banned from the village temples, normally central to Hindu spiritual life in Bali, and when he dies, his body will be rejected from the village cemetery.   Mr. Rai’s grandchildren, who play at his feet, rarely venture from the family compound a...

Two male office workers are leaving the office. “I can’t wait to get home,” says one of them. “When I do, I’m going to rip my wife’s panties right off!” “I know the feeling,” his friend says. "I've been working so damn hard lately it feels as if I'm not even married any longer." “No, I’m serious,” says the first man… … “they’re tight as hell and hurting me bad!” Hahaha!!! And talking of panties, here’s Cathy Sharon…

This is from the Jakarta Globe : Jakarta. With 3,000 candidates vying for just 164 positions at the Ministry of Trade, getting the right answers on the recruitment test was always going to be vitally important. Imagine the surprise of many of the applicants, therefore, when they were confronted with the following multiple-choice question in the general knowledge segment of the exam:   “Which one of the song titles below is included on President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono’s third album?” Trade Ministry spokesman Robert James Bintaryo told the Jakarta Globe he did not know anything about the question because the exam had been compiled by a special team.   “Now my question is, what is wrong if a general knowledge question is about Pak SBY’s song?” Robert asked. “It’s part of the general knowledge questions. There were 30 or 40 questions in that section and the song title was only one question.” He added: “I can assure you, there is no hidden agenda behind the question.” So,...

This film takes nonsense to stratospheric levels – or at least to the top of the phallic-looking National Monument ( Monas ) in Jakarta – where a kidnapped martial arts teacher in a bikini hopes to be saved by her student. And that’s all I’m gonna say about this ridiculous film. (Other than it features the wonderfully leggy Fahrani !!!) You’d have a bemused look on your face too, if you had your head between Fahrani’s legs!!! Cast: Fahrani , Agus Ringgo, Barry Prima, Barri Bintang, Joe Project, Weni Rosaline

What a load of old balls this film is! Literally. Cos it’s a film about that most dodgy of Indonesian street foods, Bakso, and how two street-side stalls (warungs) go into battle against each other to become the best meat balls vender in the local kampong. The plot is dire as you might expect, and the double entendres come so thick and fast that you’ll probably be gagging by the time it’s all over… Dewi Persik certainly likes her bakso. Lihat Boleh, Pegang Jangan (Look, Don’t Touch) - although Dewi doesn’t agree! Staring (sic): Dewi Perssik, Dimas Seto, Steve Emmanuel, Shinta Bachir, Mahadewi

As people get older, they tend to notice that time goes by faster than it did when they were young. And the older they get, the more they notice this phenomenon. So what the heck is going on? Well, first to dispel a myth – and that is the idea that time seems to progress faster as you get older - simply because you are older! For a five year old, a year is one fifth of their life. Hence a period of one year is a substantial period of time compared to their five-year life. For a 20 year old, by comparison, one year is only 5 percent of their life, and, so the argument goes, time will therefore appear to go by faster. But this argument obviously doesn’t hold up – otherwise a period of one year should pass by three times more quickly for a 60 year old man – for whom 1 year is only one-sixtieth of his life. Nope, what is going on is far more subtle and it’s all about how we perceive time. Most adults are, of course, preoccupied. They have a lot of things to do. And as a result, there is ...

As time passes by - making way for new history to be created - it is inconceivable to think of history ever coming to an end. But what if there is an end of history in the political sense? What if Western liberal democracy really does signal the end point of political development and the final, everlasting form of government? After all, can you imagine a better form of government than liberal democracy? In which citizens are free to do what they want – within certain limits – and the government is elected by the people? Probably not. And neither can most of the people living in free and democratic countries. In the now classic End of History book, Francis Fukuyama convincingly argues that political progress takes place as contradictions in societies are inevitably resolved. Discrimination against blacks, women or homosexuals, for example, violate society’s notions of equality and human rights, and so it is inevitable, argues Fukuyama, that such contradictions must – sooner or later – b...

Here comes sweet Nadine I see her face just like the perfect dream >Arc Angels Her Indonesian language skills may not be up to much, but that didn’t stop Jakarta’s Nadine from brushing aside 37 other competitors to be crowned Miss Indonesia 2010 at the Jakarta Convention Center, Friday night. The English born beauty had an expression of complete disbelief and surprise when the announcement of her victory was made – but, then again, that could have simply been because she didn’t understand what the hell was going on. But Nadine’s victory represents astute thinking on the part of the Indonesian judges, who are probably more than aware that Nadine will be much better able to answer the questions asked to her in English at the Miss Universe 2011 contest that she will represent Indonesia in. She’s also unlikely to have any qualms about showing off her hot bod in a bikini – it was the refusal to do this that shattered poor old Qory’s chances at this year’s event. So well done Nadine - wh...

If you’ve ever passed through the insane maelstrom that is Jatinegara, you’ll probably have noticed a fine old church at the major hairpin intersection. It was built in 1911-1916 by the Dutch and originally known as Gereja Bethel/De Betelkerk: Wot, no traffic?!!! And as it looks today, nearly 100 years later. From an architectural aspect, the church makes use of gables (triangle wall sections where they meet the roof) and has a pleasant geometric design with nine separate sections. The inner sections of the church form a symmetrical cross. Thankfully, the building is listed as a Class A building, and should therefore not be torn down anytime soon - either because of vocal protests from religious extremists or because property developers want to turn it into another bloody mall!

Hot news! Indonesia’s Angel Lelga – now rebranded as Angeliq - is set to work with a film star!!! Impossible you say - but it’s true. But not in an AV film.  Rather, the simply heavenly Angel will play the role as the younger sister of American film star Tera Patrick in a new movie now being made by KK Dheraj. Go for it Angel!!! Angel Lelga in bed, but very much alone ...