The story of French film-maker Hugues de Montalembert is a remarkable one.
In the prime of life and only 36 years old, he was heading back to his apartment one night when a couple of junkie scum bags tried to mug him.
Hugues de Montalembert initially fought them off, but unluckily for him, one of the low lifes produced a small phial of liquid which he threw in de Montalembert’s face.
It was acid and the next morning Hugues de Montalembert had to come to terms with the fact that he would be blind for life.
Then, incredibly, after a couple of year of rehabilitation, what did he do?
He took a taxi to JFK airport and boarded a flight to Indonesia!!!
The story goes that he was basically reborn in Bali thanks to the “gentle nature” of the people who live there.
Now that’s pretty contrite really since the reality of life in Bali is often very different to what Westerners perceive it to be. Even so, what Hugues de Montalembert found must have helped him a lot because within a year or so he had managed to churn out 800 pages of a handwritten introspective.
Having heard this amazing story my first thoughts were “why Indonesia?”
I mean I can’t think of a more difficult place to be blind. I once remember being amazed by seeing this blind bloke get off a metro mini bus in Jakarta and thinking he doesn’t stand a chance in hell (it looked a lot like that computer game Frogger – but without extra lives). Negotiate Jakarta’s roads blind? I’d rather take on the boxer Chris John with one hand tied behind my back!!!
Blindness sharpens the other senses - including the sense of smell. But can you imagine what that would be like? Some of the smells in Indonesia are so overpowering without them being amplified I can’t imagine what a blind person would make of them! Must be the olfactory equivalent of listening to ACDC on an IPOD at full volume I guess.
As for some of the off-the-radar smells that Hugues de Montalembert might have come across in Indonesia? Well these are some of them:
1) Durian. These fearsome fruits really pong. Banned in Singapore (in certain places) and from aircraft in the SE region the English writer Anthony Burgess once remarked that eating durian was “a lot like eating vanilla custard in a latrine”.
2) Kota. The old Dutch area of Jakarta is of great historical interest and the local authority has said that development of the area would draw large numbers of tourists. The tourists could even sit in outside cafes – provided they are a bit partial to the effluent fumes of the turdgid canal waters and the acidic air polution generated by the monumental traffic jams.
3) Petai. I have no idea why the vegetable Petai smells like it does. All I know is that he makes me feel very, very sick.
4) Cheap perfumes. Cheap perfumes tell the sorry stories of mediocre, humdrum lives; of young women looking for that special person whom they will almost certainly never find. Hell, if Indonesia were a movie it would be the Indonesian equivalent of the tragic and tear-jerking classic, Love Story.
5) Indonesian rubbish. The scavengers pay regular visits to my outside rubbish bin and with a long hooked stick in hand try to find things worth salvaging. Now I know that recycling goods is good, but rotting vegetable peelings and goat innards isn’t half as fragrant as Channel no. 5.
6) Clove cigarettes. The sweet smell of clove cigarette smoke will stay with anyone who has ever visited Indonesia. In some ways I guess these cigarettes can even be considered as some sort of an analogy for Indonesia with the “sweetness” merely serving to mask the harmful and damaging effects of smoking. Oh well. But I doubt if they will ever be banned – although they recently were in the US.
Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity
> Don Cupitt
It may be swelteringly hot outside but some dude has dressed himself up as a Father Christmas and is having kids sit on his knee for photographs (at Rp50,000 a pop, naturally).
It’s also snowing – actually white confetti - and there’s a huge Christmas tree which doesn’t look much like it’s from an Indonesian rainforest to me.
But most miraculously of all, good old Bing Crosby can be heard over the tannoy system crooning White Christmas.
And to think that it was only as recently as 1948 that polls declared him “the most admired man alive” - well, in the US at least!
And if you hadn’t already guessed, I’m deep within the catacombs of that great mecca for consumerism – the Jakarta shopping mall – and my mall of choice is the city’s first ever really posh mall, the one and only Plaza Indonesia!
We’re here to see Avatar which is being shown at cinema 21 up on the sixth floor (bloody great film, btw)
But first we need some grub. So how about some Italian?
Hand tossed pizza? WTF!
Presumably telling us how the pizza is cooked but I can’t help but think that this really unfortunate phrase tells us nothing at all – as if they were using another part of the body to toss the pizzas? Weird.
But pizza doesn’t sound quite right for Christmas. However, there is that nice little Japanese restaurant near Starbucks. Sushi for Christmas? Why ever not!
His name is Suparwono and he comes from the small village of Tri Tunggal Jaya in Lampung, Sumatra.
And boy is he tall!
No wonder they call him the “Giant of Lampung”!
For a time there were even suggestions he might be the world’s tallest man!
But after measurements were taken this didn’t turn out to be the case.
Yes he is bloody tall, but the 25 year old Indonesian stands 7ft 11in high – or just two inches shorter than the world’s tallest man, the Turkish giant Sultan Kosen, who is 8ft 1in.
Suparwono says he is “proud” of his height, but added that it was sometimes a struggle being so tall in a country where things are designed for much smaller frames.
I know what he means and I’m only around 6ft tall.
I mean can you imagine this guy getting into a microlet or Metro Mini?
He’d either have to lie down –
- or they could strap him to the roof I suppose!
And as for finding a marriage partner, well that's a thought too bizarre to contemplate!
The Decade From Hell. That’s what Time call it.
Bird flu. Swine flu. Facebook. The Space Shuttle Columbia disaster. Iraq. Bush. Taliban. Ahmadinejad. The Patriot Act. Katrina. Guantánamo Bay. Chavez. Sharia. Suicide bombers. Beheadings. Ringtones. Abu Ghraib. The Crackberry. Wacko Jacko RIP. California wildfires. Sarah Palin. Zimbabwe. Dafur. Gay marriage. New pope. Amish school killing. Benizir Bhutto RIP. Virginia Tech shooting. WorldCom. Enron. Oil. Cheetah Woods. Camwhores. Recession. Bailouts. Debt. More debt. …..Arggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But a good year for Indonesia in 2009 as shown by my “Indonesian market cap to Google” indicator which is still in positive territory!
At the beginning of 2009, Google was worth US$95 billion and all the Indonesian companies listed on the Indonesian stock market were worth US$125 billion combined.
So how did they fare during 2009?
Well, Google had a great year and its shares nearly doubled in value, pushing up the total value of the US search engine giant to an astonishing US$189.4 billion on 22 Dec, 09, or much higher than the value of all the Indonesian companies combined at the beginning of the year.
But during the year, the value of Indonesian companies also rose and by mid-December their combined value was US$210 billion, meaning they are still worth more than Google – but only just!
FACT: 83% of Brits Haven't Saved Enough to Retire Comfortably!
But far away in more balmy climes lies an island paradise where you can retire like a king on as little as US$1,500/month.
Bali!
Wave the Recession Goodbye
It's the place which thousands of Western retirees have already made home.
It’s the place where Mick Jagger and David Bowie
maintain secret villas.
And it’s the place where Julia Roberts came to “discover” herself in the filming of the international best selling novel Eat Pray Shag.
Forget “rip-off” England where the good life is only for the rich and famous.
Because here in Bali, the average monthly pension can adequately fund not only the essentials but ALSO “luxuries” like a house keeper... regular dinners out... tickets for vibrant cultural performances (dance, music etc)… travel… – all on a vibrant paradise island where lush rice paddies surround spectacular volcanoes…
And that’s saying nothing of the magical sandy beaches!
The Indonesia Telegraph says this place is a "smart choice for retirees who want it all."
Business Asia dubbed Bali "the New Hawaii."
Forbes declares, "The true paradise."
For Rp130,000 (US$15) a month, you'll have wireless internet. A live-in housekeeper will cost you no more than Rp1,000,000 (US$110) a month. A lunch out can be as cheap as Rp30,000 (US$3) and a kilo of tropical fruits will cost you less than one piece of the same tropical fruit back in Old Blighty!
Not forgetting of course that the balmy tropical weather is free!
Low Overheads, Tropical Style
Take Ben and Susan Russel. They're renting a condo on the beach in Kuta, South Bali for only US$600 a month –two steps past the pool and you're on golden sands!
They report: Their cost of living has sunk by about 70%.
"It just may be the most viable retirement solution for the 21st century."
"The most we've paid for a meal here was about Rp180,000 (US$20) for a huge steak with salad and three jumbo prawns on top," Susan beams.
In other words, in this island paradise, you can live in up tropical style with very low overheads.
"Once we did the maths, we realized that if we retired in the UK, we'd have to move to some desolate little shithole on the coast living in a caravan with only the ice-cold North Sea winds for company,” says Ben only half joking.
“Well. F*** that for a laugh. And so Bali it was”.
For Susan, life hasn’t been better. She’s out on her boogie board when the surf is up and she has a deeper tan than your average Hollywood celeb living the dream in California. Her free time is spent reading, cycling, doing yoga, feeding the monkeys, painting, swimming…
The practicalities
1) Despite what anyone may tell you, foreigners absolutely CANNOT own property legally in Bali (or anywhere in Indonesia for that matter). So you must rent. Renting is, however, a blessing in disguise in my view because it gives you the flexibility to easily move later on. And if you find the area isn’t really for you or there is an emergency back home, you’ll really be glad you rented. The way to fund the rent is by renting out your place in Old Blighty. If you play your cards right, your rental income from Old Blighty should far exceed your rent in Bali. The difference can be used to supplement your monthly pension allowing you to hopefully live like a King!
2) The Visa. Bureaucracy can be a nightmare in Indonesia, so use an agent to sort out your retirement visa. You should be eligible if: a) you have sufficient cash funds, b) you are not a well-known criminal, and c) you are aged 55 or over. The cost of the visa is high, but that’s the price of living in proverbial paradise.
3) Sample living costs. The cost of living in Bali is much less than in the UK. Of course you can blow money very easily in Bali by eating out at expensive restaurants but that’s also true anywhere in the world!
| Sample Monthly Budget for a Couple in Bali (south Bali or Ubud area) |
|
| Rent on 2-bedroom beachside apartment or house in a village | US$200 to US$1,500 and up |
|
| $100 |
| Maid | US$100 |
| Visa costs (amortized) | US$200 |
| Supermarket Items (food and household items) | $300 |
| Maintenance and fuel for one small car (cheaper is to get a motorcycle) | $200 |
| Entertainment for two | $300 |
| Communications (phone, internet, Satellite TV)
| $100 |
| GRAND TOTAL (for a couple) |
|
When young people take off to do a bit of traveling they often make the flippant remark that “travel is an education in itself”.
And then they go and spend most of their gap-year lounging around on some Thai beach!
Go figure.
Anyway, here are some more quotations on the theme of travel (with a few comments by yours truly of course :)
“Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to. ”J.R.R. Tolkien (English Writer)
Sure it’s dangerous but equally your house could burn down too.
“Travel is glamorous only in retrospect.” Paul Theroux (American travel Writer and Novelist, b.1941)
Probably the most painful thing in the world (next to finding yourself in the same room as a naked Thai dancer only 2 hours after a circumcision) is to take a 48 hour bus journey from Medan to Bengkulu in Sumatra. Ouch!!!!
“Travel teaches toleration.” Benjamin Disraeli (British Prime Minister and Novelist. 1804-1881)
I’m not sure of the differences between toleration and tolerance but, in any case, who wants to be taught toleration - the willingness to “put up with, countenance or suffer”? Surely “respect” would be a much better word?
“The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.” G. K. Chesterton quotes (English born Gabonese Critic, Essayist, Novelist and Poet, 1874-1936)
A lot has been made about the differences between a tourist and a traveler. In fact, a surefire way to rise the ire of a young backpacker is to call them a tourist – a far worse slur than to call them by any common expletive. They will turn red, steam will come out of their ears, and they may even try to punch you. But when you think about it there ain’t much difference is there? I mean, could you tell the tourists apart from the travelers on Bali’s Kuta Beach?
“The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” Saint Augustine (Ancient Roman Christian Theologian and Bishop of Hippo from 396 to 430. One of the Latin Fathers of the Church. 354-430)
Sort of puts me on chapter seven.
“Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages.” Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist)
Well that’s the wonderful Yanks for you, but the funny thing is that with the rapid globalization there may actually come a time when all “foreign people” do speak English.
"Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.” Ernest Hemingway (American novelist and short-story writer, Won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1954, 1899-1961)
True enough - traveling is often stressful – but that’s every reason not to travel with your other half. Unless of course you’re planning to get divorced.
“I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” Caskie Stinnett (American writer)
Tell me about it.
“Journeys end in lovers meeting.” William Shakespeare
This quote from the old bard pretty much explains why restless, anti-authoritarian hippies complete the transformation to conventional 9-5 office slaves with such aplomb. It’s cos of the misses stupid!
“Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.” - Unknown
This rather reflective quote is better appreciated while on a “higher” plane, if you know what I mean.
“The photograph reverses the purpose of travel, which until now had been to encounter the strange and unfamiliar.” Marshall McLuhan (Canadian communications theorist Educator, Writer and Social Reformer, 1911-1980)
A photograph is nice but never a substitute for the real thing. A bit like sex toys really. However good they make them, people will always want the real thing.
“Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before, advanced a stage or two upon that road which you must travel in the steps they trod.” Aristophanes (The greatest representative of ancient Greek comedy, 450-385 BC)
I ain’t ever heard of this Aristophanes joker before but never has a truer word been said in jest.
“You don't have to travel around the world to understand that the sky is blue everywhere.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It’s the old “people are the same everywhere” sentiment and he is of course right on that.
“We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.” Anais Nin (French born American Author of novels and short stories, 1903-1977)
No matter how far we go there is always something else to find. Bit like information overload on the net really, except we can simply switch the PC off.
“To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.” Aldous Huxley (English Novelist and Critic, 1894-1963)
Especially the embassies and their out-of-date and totally askew travel warnings.
"One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." –- Henry Miller
I’ve never understood why Indonesians like to barge into queues. And those buses? Bloody filthy!
“When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” Clifton Fadiman (American radio Host, Author and Editor)
So tough titties if you don’t like being woken up at 4.30am.
"He who would travel happily must travel light." Antoine de St. Exupery
I’d like him to speak to my wife.
“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” Lao Tzu
Long live the wandering hippie!
“If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?” Stephen Wright (American Actor and Writer, b.1955)
Nothing can go faster than the speed of light, so the bulbs must crack right?
“A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.” George Moore (English Philosopher one of the fathers of the analytic philosophy. 1873-1958)
But what is home?
“I have traveled more than any one else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.” Mark Twain quotes (American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910)
There may be many English accents but Glaswegian English is as incomprehendible as you can get.
"Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up.” Ernest Hemingway (American novelist and short-story writer)
It’s that 48 hour bus journey in Sumatra again…
“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Lewis Carroll quotes (English Logician, Mathematician, Photographer and Novelist, especially remembered for Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. 1832-1898)
I’m a huge fan of Lewis Carroll so read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
"Traveling is almost like talking with men of other centuries." René Descartes
Papua.
"If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel." Will Kommen
Hahaha!
"Being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned." Samuel Johnson
Especially so in Indonesia.
"Let your memory be your travel bag." -- Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Chuck the camera away.
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey." -- Fitzhugh Mullan
Try that in Jakarta and you’d be dead in two weeks.
"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." -- Jawaharal Nehru
My sentiments exactly Jawaharal. So where to next?
Some people say that the relatively undiscovered north east coast of Bali (oft-referred to as Amed) is what Bali was like before mass tourism wrought its devastating effects on the southern, touristy part of the island.
Amed is the Bali that was, they claim.
But what a ridiculous thing to say!
Because Amed doesn’t have painters. Or sculptors. Or even any elaborate temples. Nope, Amed is nothing like the artisan villages in the south of Bali but rather a poor area where many of the men work either as fishermen or sometimes as salt farmers – and more recently in the growing tourism industry (often as hotel staff).
But be that as it may, Amed is still a wonderful place to visit. The scenery is spectacular with the majestic Gunung Agung volcano in the background, and the high coastal cliffs afford sweeping views of serene bays with their beaches dotted with little fishing boats.
Amed also has some of the most spectacular snorkeling in Bali, and indeed in the whole of Indonesia. This is because the seas are plankton rich and there is an abundance of coral. What’s more, you don’t have to rent a boat but can snorkel directly from the beach.
But where to stay?
Well accommodations abound of course but one really cool place is the Double One villas perched high on one of the cliffs between two bays.
Being on a slope it’s a bit of a walk down – and not the sort of place you want to find yourself legless – or you may be in for a shocking fall!
There are 11 rooms at Double One (surprise surprise), and some of the rooms are better than others. Choose a room with air con and mini fridge (it cost a bit more but is worth it).
The rooms lower down and near the pool are especially spacious and have two beds (one double, one single) and an absolutely massive bathroom which is almost as big as the room itself!
The prices for the rooms are pretty good at around US$30/night. Breakfast is included – which is not bad and includes the usual fare of toast, eggs, juice and a big pot of either tea or coffee.
The food is a bit on the pricey side but you can always eat out. Some of the better places in Amed are Caf̩ Indah, which often has live music, and the value-for-money Sama Sama. The menus are pretty limited but at least the seafood Рprawns, fish, and squid etc - is fresh and good for you. If you like spicy food, make sure to have your meal served with the traditional spicy Balinese sauce.
Double One also has a nice little swimming pool, and it’s a great place to relax or merely seek refuge from the fierce tropical sun.
The snorkeling in front of Double One is pretty good and there are some wonderfully surreal corals with loads of different types of tropical fish – including fearsome looking tigerfish – and some other creatures as well like squid, and would you believe, sting rays! Well, I saw one. Honest….
Double One Resort, Amed, Bali. Phone: +(62)363 22427
Good old Obama has finally showed up in Jakarta – although not in person - but as a charming young lad wearing what seems to be a typical Indonesian school uniform. But no, this ain’t thanks to time travel but rather the wishes of the Jakarta-based “Friends of Obama Foundation” who wish to see Obama honored before he has made any significant achievements in the political arena whatsoever.
The statue and its pedestal stand two meters tall and is located in Menteng Park, Central Jakarta.
As for the butterfly perched in Obama’s outstretched hand, some reckon it’s there to signify the power of dreams although more cynical observers believe it alludes to Barry’s fondness for the waif-like creatures that can often be found hovering after dark (uh? oxymoron or what?) at the Taman Lawang Park, also in Menteng.
However, there are considerable risks of erecting a statue of a still living individual who can be considered as an “inspiring figure” or “role model to the youth”. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that we all thought Tiger Woods was more wholesome than a bowl of Kellogg's Muesli. But now? Well, even Rod Stewart would feel jealous of old Tiger’s super stud status. What a change! And only in a few weeks!
Heck, all we need now is for some dude to advocate a Greek-style statue of former first lady Dewi Sukarno to pay tribute to her particular “contribution” to society. Hold on a sec. What a bloody great idea!
Life is a turd sandwich. If you’ve got enough bread you don’t taste the crap - Jonathan Winters
I’m in a quandary and I don’t know what to do.
Do I buy a new England football shirt for the World Cup in South Africa or not? Admittedly, I’ve always regretted buying one in the past when England have been unceremoniously dumped out of the competition despite being well placed to progress. But that’s the past and the future is South Africa and like the deluded gambler who always thinks his next bet will pay off, I’m remaining optimistic on England’s chances. And that’s why I need a shirt.
But before I get a chance to buy the damn thing, I find out that the shirt is made for like next-to-nothing by slumdog workers in Tangerang!!
WTF! The England shirt’s made in Indonesia!
Now that’s all very well but you don’t have to be an Einstein to realize that the reason that UMBRO has subcontracted the tailoring of the England shirts is not because there are so many English Premiership fans in Indonesia and UMBRO is trying to give them something back, but rather that they can take advantage of very cheap labour.
At the PT Tuntex factory in Tangerang, Jakarta, migrant workers spend long hours for low pay making replica team shirts already selling in wealthy Western countries for up to 80 dollars each.
By contrast, their share of the World Cup bonanza making the shirts for Adidas, Nike, and Nike subsidiary Umbro, is a wage of as little as 3.30 dollars a day which unions say is far below what they consider a living wage.
To put this in perspective here are some interesting calculations I’ve made.
- The teenage girls who toil to make these shirts work a 12 hour day (includes overtime). This means they are working for an hourly rate of 27.5 cents!!!!!
- England’s highest paid footballer, the warrior John Terry, gets a mind boggling £150,000 a week, or enough to pay the weekly wages for ALL the 2,000 workers in the factory and still have a cool £89,000 a week left over for himself!!
The things you’d do for £150,000 a week…
So should I buy the new England shirt or not? I’m still undecided.
Or I could simply bypass the moral dilemma and ask my Mum to send me one over in the post. Well, that’s that problem sorted then!
The first time I ever came to Indonesia was on a KLM flight way back in the early 1990s, so news that the Dutch airline has revived its direct flight from Amsterdam to Bali brings back a few memories.
As I recall, the KLM plane I was on - which was on its final leg of the journey back to London - was virtually empty, and as I sat in my seat contemplating a return to “normality”, I lit up a Gudang Garam Surya cigarette and puffed away! Do that today of course and you’d be dragged away screaming once the plane landed to some awful little room where they interrogate suspected terrorists and probably slapped around a bit.
And the fact that I also had a bloody sharp celurit from the island of Madura (as a souvenir) in my hand luggage also probably wouldn’t have worked in my favor! How times change eh?
Everyone has the right to express their view on the Balibo film.
The only thing is, you have to see the film first - or how else can you be in a position to give your view?
BALIBO Official Film Trailer HD from Footprint Films on Vimeo.
When the Catalonian painter Antonio Blanco first set foot in Bali all those years ago, Kuta beach was still a tropical hideaway and the only Bintangs on the island were the stars in the sky. But things change quickly – some even call it progress - and today the south of Bali is overrun with hordes of beer guzzling tourists on the razz.
In many ways, Blanco can be considered as one of the earlier pioneers - and even architects - of today’s gaudy and hedonistic tourist culture that has taken root in Bali. Yes he was a hugely talented artist, but beneath the veneer of baroque intellectualness, Blanco was, at heart, a pornographer - albeit a highly talented one at that - a man so intrigued by the earthly beauty of the female Balinese that he dedicated his life to recording this beauty on canvass. But who can blame him, eh?
Blanco thankfully retained a fair number of his artworks and they are now on glorious, permanent display at a museum which was built on the grounds of his former home in the artisan village of Ubud.
The museum is well signposted and even the navigationally-challenged will have little difficulty in getting there.
After forking out Rp50,000 for a ticket (Rp30,000 if you a domestic tourist), you’ll be escorted to the garden area and asked if you’d like to “hold a few exotic birds”. These are, alas, of the feathered variety – the real thing is confined to the museum itself – and include a rather splendid looking cockatoo and a wonderful bird of paradise.
Once you’ve finished playing with the birds, it’s time for a bit of refreshment and a welcome drink - nice touch that; even though it is an ice lemon tea they give you and not a double G&T.
Next the museum itself - and before you’ve even gone in you know you’re in for a real treat by the simply majestic and elaborate entrance that towers over you from above.
Inside and you find yourself in a large and dimly lit room which is pleasantly cool. Opera music plays in the background and creates a mood of sophisticated and elegant charm. The large room, which is circular in shape and has a very high ceiling, is adorned with Blanco’s wonderful artworks and it isn’t very long before you realize that Blanco was never in any doubt whatsoever about his sexual identity (as many artists are) – virtually all his pictures are of voluptuous Balinese women in the nude.
There is plenty of potent imagery in this museum and many of the nudes are not painted alone but accompanied by large glass vessels – like bottles and jugs – often located between the women’s legs. Blanco definitely had sex on the brain.
Besides being a fantastic painter Blanco was also a noted philosopher and a talented poet to boot. Take his wonderful painting entitled “The Meaning of Life”, for example. In a note attached to the painting, Blanco attempts to answer that old philosophical chestnut that has been troubling philosophers since time immemorial:
"Antonio, you are rather Philosophic; what have you found to be the meaning of life?," asks an art collector from London.
Blanco’s answer: "When I am biting into a ripe succulent Mango in my right hand, and at the same time fondling (with my left hand) the firm buttocks of an 18 year girl…..er…..model, THAT I have found to be the closest THING to a MEANING FOR LIFE".
Such honesty strikes a cord with many and it’s interesting to note that some of Blanco’s most noteworthy admirers include high ranking Indonesian politicians such as the legendary first president of Indonesia, Sukarno, and perhaps, a little more surprisingly, the country’s current President SBY, who visited the museum and left a message of support. Other Antonio Blanco fans include the late Michael Jackson, the Rolling Stones and David Bowie.
All in all, this is a wonderful museum and well worth a visit.
And the next time you happen to bite into a fresh and succulent mango? Well…
The Blanco Renaissance Museum, Campuhan, Ubud, Bali. Telp: 0361 975502
Road safety is an alien concept in Bali and there is so much that needs to be done to get motorcyclists to ride their bikes properly that you’d think that a new law which requires motorcyclists to switch on their lights during the day wouldn’t be at the top of the agenda. But you’d be wrong. Because under the new traffic law, violators will face a fine of Rp100,000 and a 15-day prison sentence!
WTF!
But if this serves as the benchmark for traffic violations, then what sort of sanctions are they planning for other more serious infringements of the law? 5 years in the slammer for stacking things up on the back of the bike? 10 years in jail for not wearing a helmet? Or how about a life sentence for taking your family with you on an outing?
In 2008 Jakarta won four Adipura awards for being a clean and green city:
South Jakarta ranked second after South Sumatra's Palembang, followed by West Jakarta, Surabaya, North Jakarta and Central Jakarta. The four municipalities' victories left East Jakarta and the Thousand Islands regency off the winners' list.
Now it could be that the judges are wearing rose-tinted spectacles. Either that or they are just blind of course. But it’s still an interesting idea: awards for cities and all that. But what about specific streets? I mean we all know about places like Jalan Jaksa. But how does this famous back backing street shape up in the great scheme of things? And how does it compare to Indonesia’s other famous backpacking street: the legendary Gang Poppies in Kuta, Bali?
1. The vibe. Gang Poppies is never dead, Jalan Jaksa is virtually never alive.
2. The bars/beer: Jalan Jaksa may be the cheapest place in Jakarta for a beer, but Gang Poppies still comes up trumps with prices lower than in some supermarkets. In Kuta they put bottles of beer in an ice cold freezer but in Jaksa you get ice in your beer - if you are lucky - and warm beer if you are not. Gang Poppies has vibrant bars with gut-thumping sound systems and mega size flat TV screens. And Jaksa? Well, they have Romance…
3. The merchandise . Gang Poppies has CDs, DVDs, sunglasses, clothes, beachware, surfware, excellent second hand book shops etc etc. But if you’re at Jaksa all is not lost – just head for Sarinah…
4. The hotels. Plenty of dingy mosquito infested dives on Jaksa whereas Poppies has a good selection of hotels, most with Balinese gardens and a swimming pool.
5. The locals. Being pestered at Gang Poppies is all part of the experience. They just want to sell you something. At Jaksa, the locals only want to sell you one thing. It’s not worth it. Really.
6. The beach at the end of the road. At the end of Gang Poppies there is a pretty decent beach for surfing. At the end of Jaksa you still have to walk for another three hours before you arrive at the turdgid waters of Ancol beach. Need I say more?!
I’m not sure what is exactly meant by the term “haute cuisine”, but if you are on a budget in Bali and don’t really feel like spending a s**t load of cash, then the Nomad Restaurant in Ubud is probably as close as you’re gonna get to this sort of nosh.
From the outside, the place doesn’t look too grand but that’s part of Nomad’s low key appeal. And, at night, when most people go to eat there, and when you can’t see much anyway, this isn’t much of an issue.
Inside it’s not particularly big, and as there are a limited number of tables you may have to wait – unless you’ve been brainy and decided to book a table in advance (reservations: 361 – 977 169).
Okay onto the review:
The food: the menu is not the biggest in the world but I quite like that as it means you spend less time fumbling over what to choose. One of the restaurant’s strengths is its homemade pastas which are pretty damn tasty and probably not available anywhere else in Indonesia except in an expensive restaurant in a 5 star hotel. As for the other dishes on the menu, well it’s sort of a fusion between classic Indonesian dishes – nasi goreng (fried rice), rice with side dishes that you choose, etc – and Western dishes – large 200 gram beef burgers, tuna steak, fresh salads etc.
One thing that the restaurant prides itself on is its use of fresh produce, poultry, meat and fish in all its dishes. Now that’s a difficult claim to prove but I can say that as I wasn’t sick afterwards it’s probably true. Another good thing is that the restaurant doesn’t use the extremely dangerous Chinese poison MSG (mosodium glutamat), so you should be able to get through the evening without getting either hypoactive or excruciatingly painful split headaches.
Nomad also do a “special of the day”, and these can be, well, quite special. The flavor of the curried crabs and spicy hot crabs we had was excellent, although they did lack a bit of meat – anorexic crabs perhaps?
A nice touch is that Nomad gives you some free starters while you wait for your meal. These are often excellent – especially the one that tasted very much like a liquidized turnip.
Also the desserts here are very good – particularly the chocolate moose, which although a caloric catastrophe, was very moist and chocolatey.
In a nutshell, the grub at Nomad is pretty damn good and excellently presented to boot. ****
The drinks: Tons of drinks on the menu and the boozers of this world will be delighted to find that apart from the venerable Beer Bintang, there are also small bottles of Balinese-brewed Storm Beer, a range of Arak cocktails, and wines from the Balinese winemaker Hatten. ****
Ambience: Overlooking a quiet street and with pleasant chill-out music being played at a reasonable volume this is a friendly and comfortable place to eat. Shame there’s no spectacular views though, but if you want that you’ll have to go to Ku De Ta in Uluwatu, which is about a million times more expensive. ***
Prices: Prices here are pretty damn good – most dishes are priced at Rp30,000-Rp70,000 – and some drinks cost even more than the main course! *****
Overall rating: Great place which gives you a very welcome respite from both the Nasi Padang restaurants and the tepid tourist food that is so ubiquitous in Bali. Thumbs up! *****
Nomad Bar & Restaurant, Ubud Main Road no 35, Bali. Phone : +62 – 361 – 977 169
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