Alterity | Jakarta and Bali

If at first you don’t succeed then try, try again. Yes we failed to get Miyabi (Maria Ozawa) over. But we haven’t failed this time! So say hello to Rin Sakuragi!! Can’t believe what you are seeing? Well, astonishing it is true. Because the legendary Japanese star – who is noted for her steaming hot performances in such film classics as Golden Pavilion Temple 2 and the Uniform Connection Special – is staring in the new Maxima Pictures movie, Suster Keramas! In her heyday, Rin Sakuragi truly was the performer to beat. According to one article written in 1992, Rin Sakuragi could command fees of 3 million yen (more than $20,000) per video while other top starlets could only make around 1.5 to 2 million yen (about $10,000 to $15,000). The Suster Keramas film is slated for a sensational opening night on the last night of the year, 31 December 2009, but I’m not sure there won’t be protests against this film once the more conservative elements in Indonesian society realize that a Japanese p...

Although I’m essentially libertarian I find it quite unbelievable that citizens of so-called “free” countries put up with greedy corporations that basically consider their employees to be worthless and replaceable sub-humans who do nothing for the company and who can be sacked at will with no consideration whatsoever for the welfare of that individual and/or the welfare of that individual’s family. Target fires 7 workers for buying Zhu Zhus David Lawrinowicz of Lancaster had worked at Target for nearly eight years before the company fired him Wednesday — for buying two Zhu Zhu Pets. (Yes, not stealing them but for buying them!) Lawrinowicz, who worked the overnight at the Cheektowaga location on Walden Avenue, helped unload a shipment of the hot holiday toy at the start of his shift around 11 p.m. Before leaving for the day at 5 a.m. the next morning, he and six other employees lined up to buy a few of the plush hamsters each. Overnight employees are allowed to make purchases during t...

The story of French film-maker Hugues de Montalembert is a remarkable one. In the prime of life and only 36 years old, he was heading back to his apartment one night when a couple of junkie scum bags tried to mug him. Hugues de Montalembert initially fought them off, but unluckily for him, one of the low lifes produced a small phial of liquid which he threw in de Montalembert’s face. It was acid and the next morning Hugues de Montalembert had to come to terms with the fact that he would be blind for life. Then, incredibly, after a couple of year of rehabilitation, what did he do? He took a taxi to JFK airport and boarded a flight to Indonesia!!! The story goes that he was basically reborn in Bali thanks to the “gentle nature” of the people who live there. Now that’s pretty contrite really since the reality of life in Bali is often very different to what Westerners perceive it to be. Even so, what Hugues de Montalembert found must have helped him a lot because within a year or so he had...

Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity > Don Cupitt It may be swelteringly hot outside but some dude has dressed himself up as a Father Christmas and is having kids sit on his knee for photographs (at Rp50,000 a pop, naturally). It’s also snowing – actually white confetti - and there’s a huge Christmas tree which doesn’t look much like it’s from an Indonesian rainforest to me. But most miraculously of all, good old Bing Crosby can be heard over the tannoy system crooning White Christmas. And to think that it was only as recently as 1948 that polls declared him “the most admired man alive” - well, in the US at least! And if you hadn’t already guessed, I’m deep within the catacombs of that great mecca for consumerism – the Jakarta shopping mall – and my mall of choice is the city’s first ever really posh mall, the one and only Plaza Indonesia! We’re here to see Avatar which is being shown at cinema 21 up on the sixth floor (bloody great film, btw) But first we need some gru...

His name is Suparwono and he comes from the small village of Tri Tunggal Jaya in Lampung, Sumatra. And boy is he tall! No wonder they call him the “Giant of Lampung”! For a time there were even suggestions he might be the world’s tallest man! But after measurements were taken this didn’t turn out to be the case. Yes he is bloody tall, but the 25 year old Indonesian stands 7ft 11in high – or just two inches shorter than the world’s tallest man, the Turkish giant Sultan Kosen, who is 8ft 1in. Suparwono says he is “proud” of his height, but added that it was sometimes a struggle being so tall in a country where things are designed for much smaller frames. I know what he means and I’m only around 6ft tall. I mean can you imagine this guy getting into a microlet or Metro Mini? He’d either have to lie down - or they could strap him to the roof I suppose!  And as for finding a marriage partner, well that's a thought too bizarre to contemplate!

Sharen won the hearts and minds of many cellphone users for her simply stunning appearance in a series of XL ads in which she wears a body hugging orange T-shirt and charges only Rp1/sec. But time has moved on and the lovely Sharen now appears to be discarded. Not that she didn’t cut it, I reckon, but perhaps because she simply aroused too much interest! Hahaha! And that can’t have been good for public safety as the ads were often posted up on huge billboards in Jakarta: Watch out! You’re gonna hit something if you don’t look were you’re driving! In the new ads, the T shirts worn by the gaggle of XL girls are noticeably less tight than the one worn by Sharen. And they also don’t charge by the second but instead offer their services for free! And that’s got to be good news. For road safety at least!

The Decade From Hell. That’s what Time call it. Bird flu. Swine flu. Facebook. The Space Shuttle Columbia disaster. Iraq. Bush. Taliban. Ahmadinejad. The Patriot Act. Katrina. Guantánamo Bay. Chavez. Sharia. Suicide bombers. Beheadings. Ringtones. Abu Ghraib. The Crackberry. Wacko Jacko RIP. California wildfires. Sarah Palin . Zimbabwe. Dafur. Gay marriage. New pope. Amish school killing. Benizir Bhutto RIP. Virginia Tech shooting. WorldCom. Enron. Oil. Cheetah Woods. Camwhores. Recession. Bailouts. Debt. More debt. ….. Arggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But a good year for Indonesia in 2009 as shown by my “Indonesian market cap to Google” indicator which is still in positive territory! At the beginning of 2009, Google was worth US$95 billion and all the Indonesian companies listed on the Indonesian stock market were worth US$125 billion combined. So how did they fare during 2009? Well, Google had a great year and its shares nearly doubled in value, pushing up the total value of th...

Located in Lokasari - the heart of what is probably Jakarta’s most sordid entertainment district - Cherry Spa has won a loyal following for its affordable services and extensive selection of perky “therapists”. After choosing a girl (or two) you will be taken to a room where your troubles will magically disappear for the next hour or so. There are a decent selection of rooms to choose from (around Rp200k++) and the more expensive ones come complete with a huge flat screen TV, air-con, bathtub and king-size bed. Unlike many other similar establishments in Jakarta, Cherry’s also has a vibrant lounge-cum-bar where you will either probably end up reminiscing over what you have just done or what you plan to get up too. Bottles of the hard stuff sell for fairly reasonable prices - considering this is Jakarta. Otherwise just stick to the Bintang. You can stay abreast (sorry!) of upcoming events by following their twitter account. https://twitter.com/cherrybarlounge Have f...

FACT: 83% of Brits Haven't Saved Enough to Retire Comfortably!   But far away in more balmy climes lies an island paradise where you can retire like a king on as little as US$1,500/month. Bali!  Wave the Recession Goodbye   It's the place which thousands of Western retirees have already made home. It’s the place where Mick Jagger and David Bowie maintain secret villas. And it’s the place where Julia Roberts came to “discover” herself in the filming of the international best selling novel Eat Pray Shag.  Forget “rip-off” England where the good life is only for the rich and famous. Because here in Bali, the average monthly pension can adequately fund not only the essentials but ALSO “luxuries” like a house keeper... regular dinners out... tickets for vibrant cultural performances (dance, music etc)… travel…  – all on a vibrant paradise island where lush rice paddies surround spectacular volcanoes… And that’s saying nothing of the magical sandy beaches!  ...

When young people take off to do a bit of traveling they often make the flippant remark that “travel is an education in itself”. And then they go and spend most of their gap-year lounging around on some Thai beach! Go figure.   Anyway, here are some more quotations on the theme of travel (with a few comments by yours truly of course :)   “ Remember what Bilbo used to say: It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to . ” J.R.R. Tolkien (English Writer)  Sure it’s dangerous but equally your house could burn down too .   “ Travel is glamorous only in retrospect .”  Paul Theroux (American travel Writer and Novelist, b.1941)  Probably the most painful thing in the world (next to finding yourself in the same room as a naked Thai dancer only 2 hours after a circumcision) is to take a 48 hour bus journey from Medan to Bengkulu in Su...

Some people say that the relatively undiscovered north east coast of Bali (oft-referred to as Amed) is what Bali was like before mass tourism wrought its devastating effects on the southern, touristy part of the island. Amed is the Bali that was , they claim. But what a ridiculous thing to say! Because Amed doesn’t have painters. Or sculptors. Or even any elaborate temples. Nope, Amed is nothing like the artisan villages in the south of Bali but rather a poor area where many of the men work either as fishermen or sometimes as salt farmers – and more recently in the growing tourism industry (often as hotel staff). But be that as it may, Amed is still a wonderful place to visit. The scenery is spectacular with the majestic Gunung Agung volcano in the background, and the high coastal cliffs afford sweeping views of serene bays with their beaches dotted with little fishing boats. Amed also has some of the most spectacular snorkeling in Bali, and indeed in the whole of Indonesia. This is ...

Good old Obama has finally showed up in Jakarta – although not in person - but as a charming young lad wearing what seems to be a typical Indonesian school uniform. But no, this ain’t thanks to time travel but rather the wishes of the Jakarta-based “Friends of Obama Foundation” who wish to see Obama honored before he has made any significant achievements in the political arena whatsoever. The statue and its pedestal stand two meters tall and is located in Menteng Park , Central Jakarta. As for the butterfly perched in Obama’s outstretched hand, some reckon it’s there to signify the power of dreams although more cynical observers believe it alludes to Barry’s fondness for the waif-like creatures that can often be found hovering after dark (uh? oxymoron or what?) at the Taman Lawang Park, also in Menteng.  However, there are considerable risks of erecting a statue of a still living individual who can be considered as an “inspiring figure” or “role model to the youth”. After all, i...

Life is a turd sandwich. If you’ve got enough bread you don’t taste the crap - Jonathan Winters I’m in a quandary and I don’t know what to do. Do I buy a new England football shirt for the Euros or not? Admittedly, I’ve always regretted buying one in the past when England have been unceremoniously dumped out of the competition (any competition) despite being well-placed to progress. But that’s the past and the future is in Poland and like the deluded gambler who always thinks his next bet will pay off, I’m remaining optimistic on England’s chances. And that’s why I need a shirt. But before I get a chance to buy the damn thing, I find out that the shirt is made for like next-to-nothing by slumdog workers in Tangerang!! WTF! The England shirt’s made in Indonesia! Now that’s all very well by me, but you don’t have to be an Einstein to realize that the reason that UMBRO has subcontracted the tailoring of the England shirts is not because there are so many English Premiership fans in Ind...

The first time I ever came to Indonesia was on a KLM flight way back in the early 1990s, so news that the Dutch airline has revived its direct flight from Amsterdam to Bali brings back a few memories. As I recall, the KLM plane I was on - which was on its final leg of the journey back to London - was virtually empty, and as I sat in my seat contemplating a return to “normality”, I lit up a Gudang Garam Surya cigarette and puffed away! Do that today of course and you’d be dragged away screaming once the plane landed to some awful little room where they interrogate suspected terrorists and probably slapped around a bit. And the fact that I also had a bloody sharp celurit from the island of Madura (as a souvenir) in my hand luggage also probably wouldn’t have worked in my favor! How times change eh?

This is by far the most incredible “UFO” picture I have ever seen. Period. It’s not a fake, has many independent eye witnesses, and has been recorded on film. But what the hell is it? 1) Proof we are not alone in the universe and that this is the big one – FIRST CONTACT with alien beings via a worm hole. 2) A Russian missile launch gone wrong, with the missile burning up in the atmosphere. 3) Exploding meteor. 4) Some sort of atmospheric phenomenon – similar to the aurora (the northern lights) – due to the movement of ions in the earth’s magnetic field. 5) Some sort of weather phenomenon – perhaps connected to global warming. 6) Elaborate hoax thought up by XX?!! What do you think?

Still remember Ku Tunngu Jandamu? And the picture of the insatiable Dewi Perssik on the lawn, giving us all a wry smile while she keeps one hand firmly on a spurting hosepipe?!! Well, it doesn’t get any more suggestive than that. Or does it? I mean there are, of course, many other suggestive images that the tired and lazy movie makers could come up with, but even they would not stoop to even lower depths than a spurting hosepipe. Er, would they? XXL Double Extra Large is the imaginatively titled sequel to XL. Despite its crassness, the film actually deals with fairly controversial subject matter and has the sultry Mei Chan (Melati) as the film’s main attraction.

Everyone has the right to express their view on the Balibo film. The only thing is, you have to see the film first - or how else can you be in a position to give your view? BALIBO Official Film Trailer HD from Footprint Films on Vimeo .

Bad Tiger. Bad, bad, bad Tiger. Bastard tiger. Bastard, bastard, bastard… But does Tiger Woods really look like a nasty bastard to you? Well, not by a long shot! I mean you couldn’t come up with a more polished and wholesome looking dude than the affable Tiger Woods. So what went wrong with the guy? Well that’s just it. Nothing, really. Nothing went wrong. It’s not that Woods is a bastard - it’s just that he can’t help himself; i.e. he’s basically hard wired to cheat. It doesn’t matter that he’s married to one hell of a sexy lady – a Swedish model for God’s sake – the fact is Tiger’s gonads have been programmed to multiply – and that’s what they’re gonna do! This is what made Tiger, and what made him the World’s greatest ever golfer; it’s called narcissism, being in love with yourself, and having the energy and commitment to being the best at what you do. Poor old Tiger. It wasn’t really a choice that was his to make. It was programmed into him a long long time ago. You might as well ...

When the Catalonian painter Antonio Blanco first set foot in Bali all those years ago, Kuta beach was still a tropical hideaway and the only Bintangs on the island were the stars in the sky. But things change quickly – some even call it progress - and today the south of Bali is overrun with hordes of beer guzzling tourists on the razz. In many ways, Blanco can be considered as one of the earlier pioneers - and even architects - of today’s gaudy and hedonistic tourist culture that has taken root in Bali. Yes he was a hugely talented artist, but beneath the veneer of baroque intellectualness, Blanco was, at heart, a pornographer - albeit a highly talented one at that - a man so intrigued by the earthly beauty of the female Balinese that he dedicated his life to recording this beauty on canvass. But who can blame him, eh? Blanco thankfully retained a fair number of his artworks and they are now on glorious, permanent display at a museum which was built on the grounds of his former ho...

Can I retire with a million dollars? Simple answer? Yes. But not necessarily. This is obvious when you think about it because some people are better at handling money than others. But in general a million dollars should afford you a comfortable standard of living from a PERPETUAL flow of income from your investments for the rest of your life – however long you live – and that capital base will still be their for either your partner or children to inherit – if you wish that! What perpetual flow of income will a capital sum of one million dollars provide? If you have one million dollars and just stuck it in the bank you would get perpetual income, it is true (in the form of interest) – BUT INFLATION WOULD WIPE OUT YOUR CAPITAL BASE OVER TIME. So you have to use your head. And invest the money in assets that retain their value (i.e increase in value at least in line with inflation) and provide a perpetual flow of income in the form of dividends or rental income etc. So what invest...

One of the biggest decisions that an investor in equity (stocks) will have to make is whether to invest directly in stocks or simply choose one (or more) mutual funds and let the fund manager do the stock picking for them. Many have given this decision serious thought. And rightly so- it can have a large impact on your future wealth. But in fact it should be an easy decision to make if you have a sizeable amount of money to invest. And that decision is a no brainer – make direct investments in stocks! But why? Well because… 1) management fees on mutual funds will eat into your capital over time. Investment mangers don’t get paid peanuts. Their offices tend to be rather grand too. And they certainly don’t drive cheap cars. So where does the money come from? Through charging their clients fees! Buy a mutual fund and there will likely be a buying fee. Sell the mutual fund and there will likely be a selling fee also. And every year you have to pay management fees. Over time these...

Road safety is an alien concept in Bali and there is so much that needs to be done to get motorcyclists to ride their bikes properly that you’d think that a new law which requires motorcyclists to switch on their lights during the day wouldn’t be at the top of the agenda. But you’d be wrong. Because under the new traffic law, violators will face a fine of Rp100,000 and a 15-day prison sentence ! WTF! But if this serves as the benchmark for traffic violations, then what sort of sanctions are they planning for other more serious infringements of the law? 5 years in the slammer for stacking things up on the back of the bike? 10 years in jail for not wearing a helmet? Or how about a life sentence for taking your family with you on an outing? Having lived in Indonesia for many years (mostly in Jakarta), I reckon I must have ridden close to 100,000 kms in this country. Some people ask me for my advice. My answer is simple: do NOT ride a motorcycle unless you have to! The roads he...

In 2008 Jakarta won four Adipura awards for being a clean and green city: South Jakarta ranked second after South Sumatra's Palembang, followed by West Jakarta , Surabaya, North Jakarta and Central Jakarta . The four municipalities' victories left East Jakarta and the Thousand Islands regency off the winners' list. Now it could be that the judges are wearing rose-tinted spectacles. Either that or they are just blind of course. But it’s still an interesting idea: awards for cities and all that. But what about specific streets? I mean we all know about places like Jalan Jaksa. But how does this famous back backing street shape up in the great scheme of things? And how does it compare to Indonesia’s other famous backpacking street: the legendary Gang Poppies in Kuta , Bali? 1. The vibe . Gang Poppies is never dead, Jalan Jaksa is virtually never alive. 2. The bars/beer : Jalan Jaksa may be the cheapest place in Jakarta for a beer, but Gang Poppies still comes up trumps with...