There's no such thing as a free lunch...Or is there?

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It's official. The next president of Indonesia is former army general Prabowo Subianto. Quite how the next five years will pan out is anyone's guess but hopefully the foreign pundits who always bring up his dodgy human rights record will be proven wrong. Nonetheless, on policy making, Prabowo's popularist move to literally offer the poor 'a free lunch' every day of the week does not augur well for the future. Such a policy - if it ever came to fruition - would cost a phenomenal amount of money and likely lead to huge inefficiencies (food waste) and poor incentives (make people lazy). Another concern is Prabowo's strong nationalist bent. Thus, in the possible event that he finds himself with his back against the proverbial wall in the face of stern economic challenges, there is a big chance that he will simply scapegoat foreigners. But he will have to be careful. Construction of the new capital city, Nusantara, for example, is highly dependent on foreign in
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The 10 best plus plus massage spas in Jakarta

UPDATE 12/10/2018: due to the large number of hits this page has been receiving of late, readers should note that two of the spas on the list are, alas, no longer with us. They are: 1) Hotel Alexis, which was closed down for political reasons by the new Jakarta Governor Anies Baswedan and 2) Illigals, which was "closed" and promptly reopened with a new name due to its reputation as a drugs den. In place of Hotel Alexis, therefore, I would instead put Classic Hotel on the list - a real humdinger of a joint in this madcap city!

A list of the top ten plus plus spas in Jakarta? Okay, without further ado (or should that be aduh!!!) here it is:

10. Malioboro Spa. Over cynical and commercial yet fun if you stick with it – a bit like watching Chelsea on one of their better days. Hey that’s a point – even Torres could score here! Hahaha! Wallet damage: Rp1million ++

9. Emporium Spa. Overpriced but the facilities are pretty good. Go for the “one hour special package” if you are trying to fit this into a lunch break. Wallet damage: Rp1 million ++

8. Comfort Spa. All the creature comforts of a good spa are literally on hand to give you a pleasurable time. Fairly pricey but with an excellent selection of masseurs. Wallet damage: Rp750k++

7. Illigals. One-stop entertainment center for the well-heeled philogynist. Wallet damage: at least Rp1million for a good time, more for a really, really good time. CLOSED AND REOPENED AS "108 The New Atmosphere"

6. Delta Spa. Sleek black cars turn up and then - a couple of hours later - they leave. The only difference? The driver now has a smile on his face! There are a string of these spas located across Jakarta and they are well run and professional if rather pricey. Wallet damage: Rp1,000k++

indonesian girl

What can I do for you, mister?

5. Atlantis. Nah. Not that long lost island but a beguiling massage parlor-cum-spa in the heart of the Big Mangga. Wallet damage: Rp700k

4. Oasis. Gaudy as bling, this Ancient Egyptian themed spa is reputedly reputed to be the only place in Jakarta where you can get a soapy massage. If that doesn’t pique your curiosity, then it’s probably the old folk’s home for you!

3. Kimochi. I think I'm turning Japanese; I think I'm turning Japanese; I really think so… One of the oldest Jakarta spas/massage joints, Kimochi looks a bit dodgy from the outside but don’t let that put you off. Good value for money - you’ll be glad you came! Hahaha! Wallet damage: Rp500k

2. Alexis. Whorrendously overpriced, this fantasy world for men brings Caligula to Jakarta in spectacular fashion. Was it real or was I just dreaming? Difficult to say, although I was pretty pissed at the time. Wallet damage: Rp1.5million +++++++  NOW CLOSED

1. Hotel Travel. One of Jakarta’s most notorious dens of disrepute, Hotel Travel wins punters over thanks to its unique combination of affordability and clean, functional rooms. The metal bar hanging from your room’s ceiling is an especially nice touch but don’t do anything stupid because this would be a really embarrassing place to die, okay? Choose from a range of bubbly masseurs. My tip? Treat yourself and get TWO. Wallet damage: Rp400k ++

Still not satisfied? Okay, here's a complete list of plus plus spas in Jakarta.

Comments

  1. Unknown5 August 2016 at 12:55

    Thank for all your information. Really a nice post. health care and spa

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown18 December 2019 at 17:41

    Tried going there Dec/2019 to Delta Spa and even with no facilities, just the massage it was 850k minimum, some massages were 1m !!

    ReplyDelete

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